Simpsons Did It!

For several years now, my friend Conrad has been working on a comic called 'Cool Beans' about a candy store run by the granddaughter of a mysterious magic-usey person whose candy gives kids awesome super-powers, which they then use to fight the bad kids in the neighborhood who have powers of their own.

He and his friend Stephen (the artist at the time) published a four-page minicomic that outlines the plot and introduces the characters in an anthology a few years ago, but he's been having some trouble finding an artist so it isn't finished yet.

This September, a book appeared on the shelves about a candy store opened by a mysterious magic-usey person whose candy gives kids awesome super-powers. Even the cover art bears a passing resemblance to the Cool Beans concept art:



He's really hoping it's just a (really unfortunate though ultimately superficial) coincidence, like you sometimes get in this business, but the other writer is well-known, so Conrad's main worry is that people will think he's pulling a ripoff job of the other book.

I know this from experience: being accused of stealing a story you stabbed your claim flag into long before the other guy came along is a real pain in the proverbial. Luckily, Conrad has hard copies that prove Cool Beans predates the other book by several years.

In the event that plot similarities do end up being a problem (again, not likely, but who knows?) he will at least be covered in that respect.

Now, I have a strong desire to have a fat copy of the finished Cool Beans clasped in my hot little hands, so this post is me going on the record to officially state that Conrad got there first and I was there to witness it and his story is ten times cooler anyway so there.

Now find an artist and go go go!

I've Seen Many Shops In My Time

There is a very interesting argument making the rounds in the digital art community.

What seems to have happened is that Linda Bergkvist, the Internet's darling/sacred cow of photorealistic digital fantasy art, has been discovered painting over other people's photographs.

Here's Bergkvist's work:


And here's the book cover she painted over:


This is a fascinating topic to me because the artist in question is widely hyped as one of the finest digital painters on the Internet for her amazing photorealistic fantasy art.

She has stated that she does not do photomanipulation or work from photographs; her work comes right out of the ether, just like magic. Anyone could do it if they would just practice like she does. That's why people are so impressed--her natural ability and sense of realism is just too good to be true. Well, you know what they say about that...

Her work is certainly not my cup of tea (I am not a fan of cut-and-paste twee fairy wings or her choppy photoshopped something-is-off-here-but-I-can't-tell-what sense of composition), but she rakes in the cash doing commissions and is published in many artbooks. She is, in a word, established.

I did admire the way she painted such realistic feet-- assuming that she painted the feet at all as she claims and thus deserves technical praise.

Whether she splices photos into the work is not even a question anymore. If you adjust the brightness on her most inconsistent pieces, the wonkier parts will look like a brightened painting, but the "Oh, wow, that looks SO REAL!" parts fairly pop out with funny compression artifacts and look, basically, like a chunk of brightened photograph.

Here's Linda's work, again:


And here's what comes out when you mess with the levels a bit to bring out what's hiding in the black areas:


Look at the scribbly, chibified cat-monster with the crippled forepaw, murky shapeless fluff of tail and so-real-it-looks-alive head. Bad form and shortcuts can lead to irregular results and ultimate drama once your fans find out that the skill you're known for isn't even something you actually did.

Photomanipulation is a great skill. I've seen people create some truly incredible scenes with it. So why not brag about your awesome photoshopping skillz if that's your joy? The great masters worked from sources all the frickin' time, and they were, like, famous. And why trace other people's art at all, ever? Shouldn't being an artist and dealing with rippers of one's own be enough to inspire honesty? Or am I just naive? Yeah, probably just naive.

I feel bad for all those admiring would-be artists who follow her fraudulent tutorials to the letter and then feel discouraged because their results don't look like a photograph.

I guess it's just natural talent; you're either born with a liquefy brush in one hand, or you're not.



In conclusion, I give you...



LUKA'S HANDY ARTISTS' GUIDE TO NOT BEING A DOODOO-HEAD:

1. Credit thy sources.
2. Don't be uncool to thy fans.
3. Draw or paint from life.
4. Thou shalt not be ashamed of needing references.
5. REFERENCE =/= LIGHTBOXING. Gnarrrr.
6. Credit thy motherfucking sources.

THE :TODD: IS BACK

You guys aren't gonna believe this.

Remember Tard Boldman from several posts ago? Well, he's been acting like a shit and sending C&D's to all the sites hosting proof of his plagiarism (to recap: Todd Goldman is an art thief who steals art with thievery). Not such a huge deal; people are tards, that's never been news.

He is also trying to knock the amount of money he owes Shmorky down to chump change by tacking on various fees and deductions. If he gets his way, Shmorky will have essentially sold him a design for a hundred bucks. Good little employee, pat pat. Shmorky is pissed and fighting it, and will not hesitate to sue. Again, not really unexpected.

My roomie Seebs registered for SA just to tell them "Hey, I sue assholes as a HOBBY, I'll host the proof. Bring on the lawyers!" He beat me to it, I was gonna do the same thing.

And then I missed updates to the thread for about 24 hours due to the crazy-busy week we've been having, but upon checking back, the smoldering fire of :TODD:mania had been whipped back up into a bonfire.

Here's why:



Yes, you're looking at conclusive evidence that Cockface's most popular shirt ever, the one that made him his fortune, was ripped from a 1999 Pentium III advertisement created by Chip Wass! You cannot PAY for this kind of hilarity, folks.

And it doesn't stop there, either!



The image on the right in the following comparison shot is also a Chip Wass original:




Oh, Cockface. If you'd just fucking PAY SHMORKY TO GO AWAY, this would stop. No, I lie. That may have been the case three days ago, but as of now I doubt even Shmorky could call off the dogs and stop the humiliation. People are having too much fun hunting down the rips and shitting on the Goldman name.

Add in the intoxicating lure of romantic danger posed by Cockface's crack legal department, and you've got everything you need for a good old-fashined bonfire of the vanities!

I wish I had more time to play detective along with the big kids. I truly desire a Cease and Desist letter of my very own. But knowing :TODD:, it'd probably just be copied from another lawyer's work anyway.

This story has been SlashDotted, so expect much more to come. In the meantime, Cockface's distributors have begun to feel the heat.



TO BE CONTINUED...

The Battle Of Myspace, Part Deux

I spent the day out of the house because it was too nice to be stuck in here brooding. Went to the lake and took some pictures, then to Panera with Rain so she could have a bagel. I also found a SOGEKING & CHOPPER figurine set at the Tomodachi store for ten bucks and went over budget because it had to be mine. I will call it a reward for getting through this shitty week.

Got back home and noticed that the Shmorky V. Goliath Myspace shenanigans have het up considerable in my absence. Todd Goldman, or one of his friends, has begun hacking and vandalizing various MySpace accounts belonging to people who asked to be added during he first leg of the Battle. Indecent content created for the occasion and hosted on Cockface's own website is being uploaded to their userpages. I doubt he can explain that one away as an accident!

Far from ending with the civility of a settlement, it looks like :TODD: will be unsatisfied with anything short of a full-blown temper tantrum. I look forward to seeing how this plays out,and will keep an eye out for screenshots.

When is a copout not a copout? When it's a copout.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

POST POP-ARTIST, TODD GOLDMAN, CONTROVERSAL PAINTING

CLEARWATER, FL, April 11, 2007- Popular post pop-artist, Todd Goldman who has made a career of making fun of the world with his sarcastic commentary and cartoon icons, has mistakenly used the design of an another artist in two of his recent paintings. Todd’s painting, “Dear God, Please Make Everyone Die”, was inspired from a drawing he received unbeknownst to him belonging to an underground web comic artist David “Shmorky” Kelly.

In addition to painting, Todd designs t-shirts for his clothing company, David & Goliath. Todd and his design team create and receive thousands of design ideas every month. It’s no secret that Goldman creates a lot of his painting ideas from his t-shirt designs. Goldman says “I made a judgment error and didn’t research the background of this particular submission. “My intention was not to copy Mr. Kelly. I have never seen his work before and would never intentionally knock-off someone else’s idea.”

Goldman has issued a formal apology to Mr. Kelly and has stated that he will not be using his design again in the future. As a gesture of good faith, Goldman has pledged not profit from his mistake. He will instead donate his proceeds from the painting directly to Mr. Kelly or his charity of choice.

Typical lies and transparent ass-coveration, and the spelling error in the headline is hurting my soul. The attempt made by the PR department to soften the blow by replacing "TRACED" with "INSPIRED" is delightfully weaselminded.

The :TODD: account of events contradicts pretty much all the facts, and a decent chunk of common sense in the bargain, but it's good enough to be getting on with. Underneath the bullshit and spin is a nice little win for the good guys of the interbutt against the Cockfaces of unoriginality and swine.

Furthermore, :TODD: has confessed to being an unoriginal twat who uses other people's ideas and then graciously accepts credit for the work. This is nothing short of comedy gold, and my personal favorite part of the entire confession. It spells death for :TODD:'s obnoxious blathering about he's just so zany and cree8tive that he doesn't even look outside his own head for influences. And that's awesome, because that fucking PR spiel really needed killing.

His 'tude still lacks the humbleness appropriate for a man who is essentially confessing to being an artless consumer-pleasuring drone, is at least a start. I'm sure he'll learn fast; that's where the money is.

Speaking of moolah, Shmorky's going to be recieving a bunch of it for the (at least) three instances of his Purple Pussy art being redrawn and sold as an original painting. There may very well be others, but I don't expect Cockface would volunteer that information of his own free will after he barely managed to apologize for the known rips. And so begins the digging!

The amount Shmorky is due just for the known paintings totals more than $11,000, not counting any other miscellaneous good faith gestures (such as asshole tax, hush money, tithing and lawyer fees) that they may also choose to offer while he has the company bent over the kitchen table with an apple stuffed between the teeth. Not bad back-pay for a webcomic that ended several years ago, eh?

Shmorky plans to accept the full amount himself and will donate a portion of it to charity later, so that Cockface won't be able to deduct the donation from his own taxes. Nice try, dude, but you can't win on Apple Day.

Meanwhile, the rest of the internet has smelled blood and the rest of the wronged artists will soon be taking their own bites out of Goldman's vast fortune of ill-gotten gains. I wish them the best of luck.

Meanwhile meanwhile, the Battle of Myspace ended in blood and honor last night when the SA goon who registered the abandoned username switched tactics and deleted the account himself, re-releasing the name for registration. Then he re-re-registered the username and locked Cockface out of it permanently. Goodbye, hax!

Maybe Cockface will wise up and go directly to MySpace this time to ask for his username back--which I doubt they'll allow, after he used it to send furry porn to kids.

On a more personal front, this affair has made me hyper-aware of just how much snatching goes on with internet-based T-shirt/sticker/logo stores. I had no idea it was so rampant, although I always figured there was a risk of rippers.

Now that I've stepped into that world myself with about 80 original slogans, I feel like I should wise up and be more proactive about protecting my rights. I'd hate to be the little guy crushed by big business, even if this week has shown clearly that the little guy sometimes wins.

ETA: Here's the newspaper article we were promised. Not bad, although it bugs me when newspaper writers publish quotes from bloggers but don't bother to attribute them.

The Battle Of Myspace

Yesterday, Cockface (Todd Goldman) chose to spam anyone who messaged him about his massive and ongoing thievery with a rant publicly accusing Dave Kelly (Shmorky) of being a pedophile. The rant included links to some babyfur porn Kelly had drawn on commission many years ago, as well as photographs that were falsely represented as being Kelly himself.

MySpace has this little policy regarding people who send porn to minors, and they deleted his account not long after the complaints began to roll in. At the point of deletion, the username toddharrisgoldman became available for registration, and an SA goon, thinking fast, snatched up the account and turned it into a gallery of shame to showcase the growing sea of evidence.

WELL.

Today, Cockface somehow regained control of the now-reassigned account, and deleted all the evidence from the page. The SA goon who registered the new account, however, was still logged in at that time, and is therefore still able to edit the page as long as he doesn't close the window.

Mr. Goon has been faithfully restoring the gallery of shame each time Cockface tries to delete it, which is often. Cockface does not give up easily. This may not be due to bulldog tenacity; considering the available evidence, he's just too dumb to quit.

And so, the Battle of Myspace rages on, to the great amusement of all.

You can witness the ongoing shenanigans, silly buggers and all-around skullduggery by going here and hitting reload every few minutes. Be sure to read the hilarious comments and blog entries, including the one titled "I CAN GO ALL NIGHT, TODD."

If you get there after the fun is over, the YTMND version will sum it up for you nicely (with music!)

It's not going to achieve anything, but who cares? It's hilarious.

The Epic Fail Of Todd "Cockface" Goldman

The Todd Goldman/Dave Kelly plagiarism thread has really grown since I read and posted about it here last night. Cockface Todd started spamming anyone who messaged him on MySpace with links to furry porn. Way to keep your cool, fella!

Meanwhile just about everything he's got in his t-shirt store has been outed as a trace of something else. It's truly become a case of Internetus Failus Totalus. If you can call a long list of obvious and not very funny ripoffs a career, then it is safe to say that his is over.

And now, because other people are doing it and I want to be cool like the big kids, I present for your amusement a pretty picture of Todd as he must look right about now:



COPYRIGHT TO LUKA ALL RIGHTS REVERSED.

Ouch, My Purple Pussy!

Gosh, it's been a while since we had a nice juicy art theft controversy. I burn for a fix... maybe something involving famous people preying on webcomickers. That would rock.

O HAI LOOK AT THIS!

Remember those painfully snotty "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!" t-shirts? The creator, Todd Goldman of David And Goliath Tees, sells a lot of ugly pseudo-Happy-Bunny crap at Hot Topic, and even has a few stores of his own.

If you're a 13 year old girl who thinks she's a rebel because she doesn't wear pink or spell her swear words out anymore, you probably have one of his "Duh, I'm just a consumer!" tampon holders in your purse right now.

Okay, I made that last part up. But the rest is true!

Anyway, Cockface opened a gallery show in LA recently to rave reviews. Somehow, drawing Todd Parr-esque stick figures (sans the whimsy and humor) has made this man very popular with the actual high art crowd. Very high, if you ask me, but I digress.

Someone attending the show recognized one of his exhibits as a pretty much unaltered trace of a classic panel of the webcomic Purple Pussy.

The photo of the rip in the gallery shows a little red dot sticker underneath the piece, which I believe means it sold, earning Cockface hundreds or thousands of bucks. Right after that, a slightly different trace of the PP comic turned up on the gallery site, meaning that he's traced the same picture at least twice.

Well, the artist for Purple Pussy has an account on SomethingAwful, and he posted about the situation in the forums. Links were posted to Cockface's shirt store almost immediately so people could go digging around for more rips. Last I saw, Roman Dirge was wading into the action over some questionable goth girl art and there is a lively game of "find the original" being played. I'm having Banrai flashbacks here, almost.

My suggestion is to grab a beer and follow the mischief as it unfolds. Lawyers and reporters have become involved, a sure sign that this is gonna be awesome. I hope he gets his little empire knocked down. Not just because he's obnoxious and a thieving cunt, but because he's a wretched human being and anyone who makes shirts like this fails at life forever.


And just 'cause I felt like sharing it, here's a Goldman clone I spotted aaaall by myself:



The one with the badly placed apostrophe comes from here. The other one is from our friend Mr. Cockface. Separated at birth? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.

ETA: Hah! Check it out, somebody found another Cockface version that still has the apostrophe: