Six Things

1. Gosh, wouldn't it be nice if somebody just stapled Jenny McCarthy to a ceiling somewhere and left her? It would be terrible if she starved to death up there, yeah, but... no, wait. Actually I'm pretty okay with that.

2. I played too fucking much Mario Kart today. I see blue shells when I close my eyes. Why, why did I wake up so utterly spazzy? I fucked off and played video games all day despite my total commitment to getting the comic done. It can't have anything to do with the 13-hour holiday get-together shopping/more shopping/dishes/cleaning/entertaining/table breakdown/dishes again/cleaning again marathon yesterday, could it?

3. On second thought, maybe I should go play some more Mario Kart.

4. Took dog for bike run in the sleet, which changed to flurries as we returned home. An hour later the light outside changed and I went to look out a window, and sure enough--snow! My brakes were not happy with the wet. Time to get them adjusted again.

5. Blew my sleep schedule again. I blame the 5 hour nap after I chowed down on turkey leftovers in a bid to help clear the fridge. Tryptophan, take me away!

6. Scribbling with Chapstick on the backs of my dry cracked hands, rubbing it in, then wiping it all off with a towel has completely stopped the itching, and the gaping wounds have begun to scab over. Plus, waterproof hands.

Ganksthieving Again!

We're having our celebration on Friday this year. Leslie & Misha, do you reckon you'd be free to come down and nom some gooshy foods with us? We can drink to 500 years of subjugation and genocide, and also there will be pie.

A Thanksgiving Post

This is a photo of some large eyeglasses. If you unfocus your eyes for about 30 seconds, you'll see a little kid hidden in the background:



Mom's note on the back of the picture says I was seven years old. Oh, how I long for the simplicity and ease of fetus-larva time, back when my eyes were still blue. Before I got weird; before my nostrils started growing and never stopped.

The obvious comparison does not evade me, but at least it's spelled different:



This is Mom and my older sister. I am fairly sure I did not yet exist when the photo was taken, because Mom is smiling and happy. It's clear from my sister's troubled expression that she has some idea what's about to happen to her. Muahaha.



My mom was a natural redhead. I love the shape of her nose. It's good to see her looking young and happy instead of like a ziplock baggie of white dust and pulverized bones in a small silver box with Swarovski crystals on it that plays showtunes when you turn the star-shaped crank.

I still have the necklace she's wearing. She wore it daily for something like 30 years, and now the eyelet is worn clean through. I have those rings, too, in another ziplock bag. This bag has a biohazard symbol on it, and a label with her personal information printed on it. The rings are no longer wearable because they were clipped off her fingers by medical staff when she went to the hospital for the last time. I'm not the jewelry-wearing type anyway, so it's all good.

Today I give thanks for the best parts of a weird as fuck childhood. Cheers!

Suddenly, Turkeys! Thousands of them!

Ganksthieving so busy. Belly so full. Updates so erratic.

Where the hell did November go?