Working Jet Pack Lasts For Hours

I need one and I need to use it to cross Lake Superior and I need it now.

I Have Too Many Nipples, Send Help ASAP!

A couple of nights ago I was listening to Loveline and they had a caller in her early twenties who had only just discovered that she had an extra nipple. I scoffed. Oh, how I scoffed.

And then today I found one on ME.

How can this be? I'm 28! I don't even want the boobs I've got!

I always knew it was there, but I thought it was just a weird raised extra-sensitive mole. It was only when I was reading about the phenomenon on Google that I realized my mole was along the classical mammalian booby line and investigated more closely. At that point it finally hit me that the damn thing looks exactly like a miniature tittyswitch. It even has a partial aureola! How did I miss that?

Then came denial. This is not my beautiful radio dial tuned to 69.1, the Pleasure Station! Then anger. What wretched god of whimsy glued this misguided little endcap on there, and why couldn't they have put another one in on the other side for symmetry?

At this point I skipped depression because that's boring and landed straight on exhuberant acceptance. What novelty! What fun! Shall I pierce it? Shall I put ice on it and see if it gets hard? Cover it with a sticker for modesty in the event of tank top malfunction? Take photos and post them to the internet so my enemies can mock me to my very dying hour? Oh, I'm so excited by all these new possibilities!

Superfluous Nipple, you're the best toy ever.

Art Post

This sucker kept me up all night and blew my carefully cultivated schedule to little bitty bits, but I am so immensely pleased by the product of my mania that basically I refuse to feel bad about it :)

Who's a Wuzzums?

YOU'RE A WUZZUMS.

Runaway Jury Review

Runaway Jury was a pretty good movie, but I was disappointed by the switch from tobacco to gun control as the central plot. The book worked because the lawsuit was interesting and based on real-life tobacco industry litigation . In the movie, they gutted and replaced the hot topic with a flimsy case involving a single company gleefully selling guns to criminals, with a wicked corporate lawyer as villain. You could have written the resulting courtroom drama with zero knowledge of legal procedure, and that's really not a big draw for Grisham fans. They made a flimsy case and I didn't appreciate the emotional appeal (schmaltzy music and footage of children playing safely in a gun-free utopia, hurray!).

With such a meh Big Bad, the whole cat and mouse game just doesn't hang together as well. It was a damn shame, because that part of the story was riveting and really wanted a grander payoff.

I guess with all the media fascination with school shootings in the past decade, they thought it would be more intense and topical than taking yet another swing at Big Tobacco's all too boring sociopathy. At least I got a page inked during the film. And hey, the book's still on the shelf. As Stephen King once said, "they can't change a word." But don't get me started on the mondo ass rapings he's had to endure with his fiction. I'd be here all night and it's bedtime.

Holy Snowly

That freakish thunderstorm earlier today dumped 6 to 8 inches of snow on my town in one hour. An hour. The car was clean from the garage when I drove to the appointment, and when I saw it on my way out I could only tell which one it was by where I'd parked. I had to rock-and-gas it in three separate intersections to get it over the higher drifts, but it performed damned well for such a tiny vehicle.

Visibility in the storm was about 10-20 feet tops. All I could see was other drivers' headlights, and even then it was tricky to navigate. I'm glad I know these roads like the back of my fappin' hand, because it meant I only missed the rehab clinic entrance three times as I coasted past it doing 5mph. Fuck yeah I love Minnesota. Days like this are why I moved here.

Now I eat steamed rice with a scrambled egg and some tofu. Nommmmmmmm.

Thundersnow Returns!

Booms from this intense thunderstorm keep shaking my office chair. Oh yeah, and it's snowing so hard I can barely see across the street. Spring already?

First appointment at the sports rehab center today because of [content redacted]. I have my fingers crossed that they can help me out.

I am inking the next pages of my comic today. I can barely contain my excitement over the huge plot revelations I had the other day. It's still hard for me to believe a short side project could have evolved into something this complex with so little effort. Like it was already in my head, waiting for me to uncover it a bit at a time. I know it'll never be on par with the Great American Novel, but I'm pretty comfy with what I've got.

Even More Lip Service For The Captain

Check out my dog's awesome regenerative powers:



The vitiligo appears to be slowly repigmenting. I've been noticing little freckles on his muzzle all winter long, but it wasn't til I compared the first and latest photos that the real scope of the change became apparent. He might get all the color back at this rate *hope hope*. He's such a handsome color without the Joker paint look.

WHO LOVESES THE CAPTAIN? I LOVESES THE CAPTAIN!

Wise Beard Man Arrested For Protesting Scientology (1)

Months after a cult member defaced a protester's car, then restrained and assaulted the protester in a fake "citizen's arrest" when he approached to intervene, the Gold Base public property controversy continues to smolder.

Observe as Mark Lowell is arrested for "blocking the driveway" by standing on the city-owned easement. Fellow activists are then instructed by police to relocate their protesting to a residential zone down the block, which would be breaking the law.


Mark Bunker/Mark Lowell Arrested at Gold Base from Angry Gay Pope on Vimeo.

The video showing Bunker's beard being arrested will follow as soon as it's posted. I keep thinking, it must be great to have so much power that you can forbid people to walk past your property. Too bad about the whole "eternal damnation" thing, though.

Update!

Three pages this time. Coloring the whole thing took a lot longer than expected, but the results look awful purdy so it's okay.



I love getting to expand on the uberplot of this monster. The edges of the endgame story have started to emerge in a material form after years of frantically boinging around inside my brain, and that makes me very happy indeed.

Cat Lovers Could Probably Read This

YAY! The cat abusing shitheels have been charged and both cats have been removed permanently from the home. A third cat who was abused in another video was taken from a friend's house as well. They're not injured too badly and are expected to be available for adoption this week.

Meanwhile pizzas, taxis, hookers, hearses, death threats and religious material continue to be sent in mass quantities to the home of said shitheels. Oh Anonymous.

Sauce here.

Cat Lovers, Don't Read This Either

I have to applaud Anonymous for taking time out of their busy schedule of being fucking awesome to be even more fucking awesome this week.

Those teen boys who posted videos on YouTube of themselves torturing the family cat have been identified and reported by eagle-eyed internet detectives, and Dusty the kitty was promptly removed from the home and placed under the care of a veterinarian. The mother of the boys involved reports that she plans to ground both of them from riding on their dirt bikes for a short period of time as punishment for their adolescent shenanigans. Ouch.

No word yet on whether the family of these precious little sociopaths is grieving for the loss of their beloved Dusty, but if so, it won't be feeling the emptinesss for long. Pizzas, Craiglist hookers and death threats are being sent to the house in floods by well-wishers from all over the internet to fill the gap in their hearts.

Happy VD!

Hilda is my Valentine. This year, every year.

Frustration!

This is the best image macro I have ever seen.

Vienna Teng

God DAMN I love this woman's music.



me and my baby on a february holiday
'cause we got the news
yeah, we got the news
500 miles and we're gonna make it all the way
we've got nothing to lose
we've got nothing to lose

it's been 10 years waiting
but it's better late than the never
we've been told before
we can't wait one minute more

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine
at city hall

me and my baby've been through
a lot of good and bad
learned to kiss the sky
made our mommas cry
I've seen a lot of friends
after giving it all they had
lay down and die
lay down and die

10 years into it
here's our window
at the vegas drive-thru chapel
it ain't too much
for 'em all to handle

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine
at city hall

outside, they're handing out
donuts and pizza pies
for the folks in pairs in the folding chairs
my baby's lookin' so damned pretty
with those anxious eyes
rain-speckled hair
and my ring to wear

10 years waiting for this moment of fate
when we say the words and sign our names
if they take it away again someday
this beautiful thing won't change

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine
at city hall

New Pages!?

Three on-time updates in a row! It's like I'm on fire or something.



PS: OH GOD I REALLY AM ON FIRE OH GOD OH GOD OH IT BURNS SHOULD I GO TO THE DOCTORRRRRR