Snow Katamari Revisited

The annotation function on YouTube is SUPER SWEET. Here's why:



I found this old video just now and re-uploaded it (had to put in different music because YouTube mutes unlicensed songs). I like it better now anyway.

Holy Snowly

That freakish thunderstorm earlier today dumped 6 to 8 inches of snow on my town in one hour. An hour. The car was clean from the garage when I drove to the appointment, and when I saw it on my way out I could only tell which one it was by where I'd parked. I had to rock-and-gas it in three separate intersections to get it over the higher drifts, but it performed damned well for such a tiny vehicle.

Visibility in the storm was about 10-20 feet tops. All I could see was other drivers' headlights, and even then it was tricky to navigate. I'm glad I know these roads like the back of my fappin' hand, because it meant I only missed the rehab clinic entrance three times as I coasted past it doing 5mph. Fuck yeah I love Minnesota. Days like this are why I moved here.

Now I eat steamed rice with a scrambled egg and some tofu. Nommmmmmmm.

Thundersnow Returns!

Booms from this intense thunderstorm keep shaking my office chair. Oh yeah, and it's snowing so hard I can barely see across the street. Spring already?

First appointment at the sports rehab center today because of [content redacted]. I have my fingers crossed that they can help me out.

I am inking the next pages of my comic today. I can barely contain my excitement over the huge plot revelations I had the other day. It's still hard for me to believe a short side project could have evolved into something this complex with so little effort. Like it was already in my head, waiting for me to uncover it a bit at a time. I know it'll never be on par with the Great American Novel, but I'm pretty comfy with what I've got.

Weather or Not II

OH GOD OH GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE

Weather or Not

Attention, internet. We have thundersnow. I repeat, we have thundersnow.

Edit: I went outside on my porch to record this super-rare weather, and only realized after taping for about two minutes that I could see into my neighbor's shower. I am not sure, but I think the lady in there might have seen me. Not that I could make anything out, but it did end up in-frame for a while.

Whoops.

Holy Fuck Degrees Fahrenheit

Ten below! TEN BELOW ZERO! I went out to bring the dog in and my hands were steaming. I'd just washed them and they were mostly dry, but... steam! Lots of it. And my fingers stuck to the doorknob.

Do I go to bed, or do I go throw water into the air and record a video of it poofing into a huge cloud of frozen vapor before a drop can hit the ground?

Ah yes. Bed. The wisest choice a man can make.

Blow, Wind, HOLY SHIT

Did I really hope for more snow? Did I really?

Well, I got it. And let me tell you, walking the dog into the screaming wind when it's -2 degrees F is quite a bit less enjoyable than several dozen other activities I could name. It was kind of fun walking across the river (all the way this time!) and looking at the cracks and bubbles that run all the way down to the ripply mud bottom, but HOLY SHIT COLD.

The bridge is set low over the water, and I klonked my head on a concrete beam. It really DOES sound like "klonk", doesn't it?

The wind screams through there so hard and fast that the snow deflects around you like you've got a force field up and goes skidding off along the ice in snaky tendrils. My cotton pajama pants didn't stand a chance. Although to be fair, they held up better than my jeans and cargo shorts ever did in similar conditions.

By the time the Captain and I got back, his muzzle was covered in snow and every whisker was completely encrusted in ice. Poor little bugger looked like the harp seal from my last post. Our footprints from the journey out were totally filled in by blowing snow. And the ice, ay dio! Everything that melted yesterday has frozen over in the streets. I tried to flag down the roomies and warn them about it as they pulled out of the garage, but I think they thought I was waving byebye.

I am officially broke. I am going to need to fall back on my contingency plan to make and sell sets of Kagerou stickers. This should keep me going until my big project is ready to fire off to the printers.

I think I'll go drink some eggnog and read a good book while I watch the nasty gray month-old snow get a face lift. And then, art!

You don't like waffles?

A waffle shop has opened up in my town. A waffle shop.

What do they sell? Waffles with various accompaniments. Waffles and coffee. Waffles.

Best of all, they're open til 2 am for the utter and complete win. This town pretty much curls up and goes to sleep at 8 pm, and that's barely late enough for me to have put all my underwear on, much less be outside gallivanting around in search of cornfed college girls to savage.

It snowed a little bit today. Not as much as it should have, but it was nice while it lasted. I hope what's still on the ground from the first snowstorm early this month won't melt before the next blow hits.



I LOVE YOU MISTER SNOWWWW.

PS - New AIM name is Luka Pants. I will be phasing out the other accounts shortly in keeping with the spirit of my 2008 New Year's Revolution.

Fuck Your Winter Wonderland, Mrs. Marshmallow Pants

It's been a while since I was out during daylight hours, man. I found this out the hard way this morning as I watched my dog take a big shit in the snow. Steam rose up and drifted away for about six fucking feet. This amazed and horrified me, and I stood around until the toxic waste stopped smoking before I dared to bag it.

I'm sure this happens every time he's taken a dump since the day about a month ago where I was able to put a pint of ice cream outside my door to save for later, but since I usually walk him in the dark, I've been spared the horror of actually seeing it happen until now.

Somebody threw a bike off a bridge a week ago, over the deepest part of the river. The bike's been sitting there ever since. In a couple of days someone will walk out and get it, probably.

The spillway has been trying to freeze over for weeks, but so far the water's been moving too fast. This morning, though, there were three or four spots where ice had built up enough to block the flow. Where the water did come out, it was roaring and vicious and sent up a crazy steam cloud you could see for blocks around.

I would have gotten pictures, but the cool new camera has a defective sensor and stopped working for good right after I videotaped the dog frolicking in the snow on the way out. I hope to god it's still under warranty.

It was fuck knows how far below zero when we first went out. By the time we got back two hours later it had risen to a startling 1*, and I could feel my nose again. I wish I couldn't.

The best thing about winters that plunge below zero is that suddenly 40* seems like the much-longed for dog days of summer. Also good is the way your breath condenses into a hearty pirate beard on your muffler within a few minutes.

By the end of the walk, the Captain was manic and shivering. Five bucks says the little bastard lets me fucking sleep through the night uninterrupted for a change.

I think someone stole the Christmas tree in the town square. There were twigs and small branches scattered around the empty holder thingie. Kids in this town must get so fucking bored.

On that note, I found graffiti on a wall that read "Magically Delicious." The way I see it, someone's trying to start shit with the Malt-O-Meal gang. This could get good! I'll keep you posted.

The goal of this morning's walk was to pick up some cinnamon rolls and fresh Italian bread at the EconoFood place. I also got hamburger, but I was too tired when I got home to cook it, and ate cinnamon rolls and Italian bread with Nutella instead. Carbolicious and very very good.

Saturday, the dog trainer comes for our first session. She does house calls because the entire town is five feet in diameter and all she'll have to do to get to our place from where she lives is turn around and knock. This kind of business model is new to me, but I'll roll with it because I'm lazy and it's warm here. She apparently tailors her lessons based on client needs, so I've whipped up a nice list of ways I want this animal's spirit to be crushed. It's going to be awesome.

PS - People look at you funny when you walk around laughing maniacally. Maybe because they can't see the iPod headphones and thus do not know you're listening to George Carlin performing "When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?"



It's going to be the best fun I ever had with my clothes on.

Snape Fans and Car Crashes

After I got back from Cedar Rapids, I was too stupid for real art so I drew this shitty comic instead. It's a true story.

In other news, as I was driving up I-35, the weather got kind of gross. Mostly a little freezing rain, a few snowflakes, that sort of thing. But the EXACT second I drove past the sign that says WELCOME TO MINNESOTA, all hell broke loose. It was a blizzard and the road was so covered over with blowing snow that I couldn't tell where the road edges were (thank god for the rumble strips).

I slowed down accordingly and did just fine all the way up until I got off the interstate, at which point I promptly lost control of Seebs' car and crashed it into a ditch not even two fucking miles from our house.

The interstate had been bad enough, but the road off Exit 69 hadn't been plowed yet and traffic wasn't heavy enough to flatten it down evenly. The car skidded in the other vehicles' wheel ruts, which proved fatal when going around a curve. The wheels shuddered around a little and suddenly I was sliding all the way across the road into the other lane's ditch.

I fetched up in a snowbank that came almost to my hips when I got out of the car, and snow sprayed the windshield from the impact. The brakes did absolutely nothing but I wasn't going fast enough to do any damage. The road was pretty clear of other vehicles, too, so I consider myself lucky as hell. I couldn't find my cel phone so I just grabbed my coat, gloves, ID, inhaler and decided to hike the rest of the way.

I got picked up not ten feet down the road. This was very fortunate, because there weren't any sidewalks and the road itself was, as I've mentioned, very tricksy to navigate.

The guy who gave me the lift was pretty cool and told me about other snow emergencies he's rescued people from in the past. It's kind of like a hobby here in Northfield, from what I can gather. He'd been on peacekeeping missions to Brazil and all sorts of interesting shit.

Anyway, I got home and Seebs took the big car and we went to Target for snow boots (neither of us had a pair) and then to the car to try to dig it out a bit and wait for AAA.

The guy showed up to tow us out a bit later than expected due to the 89 other cars I'd seen off the road by then, and once it was free, I got back in and drove the rest of the way home with extreme caution. Even going under twenty miles an hour, I still slid around like butter on a hot knife whenever there were wheel ruts.

I think I'll wait til they plow it before I go out again.

So, home safe and sound. Dog very happy to see me. I'm told he was very mellow while I was gone, and Rah let him sleep on her to avoid the night-time whinging that had me worrying about everyone's sanity.

Pics of ditch-infested car soon. Woo! My first accident!

This Hole Was Made For Me

This is the most horrifying, claustrophobic short story I've read in three or four years. Kudos.

Still sick. Coughing up bloody leather and my eyes burn whenever I close them. Been doing absolutely nothing but playing video games because I'm stupid. Did take the dog for a walk today, after bundling up nice and warm.

It finally snowed for real-real--about 6 inches. It was bright enough to read outdoors at midnight and the sky was glowing with a wonderful orange-pink light.

The Captain was skeptical at first, but once he decided the snow wasn't going to eat his paws, he was quickly overtaken by glee and became officially frolicksome. On our walk, he was so struck by the novelty of it all that he pranced like a little Broadway dancer. His toes are webbed and spread apart in the snow so that whenever he takes a step the entire paw sort of balloons into a furry mauve snowshoe. For this situation, the appropriate sound effect is 'pratt pratt pratt'.

Later the snow turned to sleet before tapering off entirely, and what was on the ground quickly grew a hard shell. The Captain likes nothing more in the world than breaking through the crust with his paws and sniffing the resulting holes for possible mice.

Also, he has added some interesting new whale song to his whining repertoire. I laughed my ass off earlier when he started singing this yodeling, purring wookiee lullaby to a cat on the stairs who was out of his reach.

Ha ha, Captain. You suck.


Rain! I misplaced my phone again! I'll call you tomorrow once I've dug it out of the laundry or wherever it is.