Snape Fans and Car Crashes

After I got back from Cedar Rapids, I was too stupid for real art so I drew this shitty comic instead. It's a true story.

In other news, as I was driving up I-35, the weather got kind of gross. Mostly a little freezing rain, a few snowflakes, that sort of thing. But the EXACT second I drove past the sign that says WELCOME TO MINNESOTA, all hell broke loose. It was a blizzard and the road was so covered over with blowing snow that I couldn't tell where the road edges were (thank god for the rumble strips).

I slowed down accordingly and did just fine all the way up until I got off the interstate, at which point I promptly lost control of Seebs' car and crashed it into a ditch not even two fucking miles from our house.

The interstate had been bad enough, but the road off Exit 69 hadn't been plowed yet and traffic wasn't heavy enough to flatten it down evenly. The car skidded in the other vehicles' wheel ruts, which proved fatal when going around a curve. The wheels shuddered around a little and suddenly I was sliding all the way across the road into the other lane's ditch.

I fetched up in a snowbank that came almost to my hips when I got out of the car, and snow sprayed the windshield from the impact. The brakes did absolutely nothing but I wasn't going fast enough to do any damage. The road was pretty clear of other vehicles, too, so I consider myself lucky as hell. I couldn't find my cel phone so I just grabbed my coat, gloves, ID, inhaler and decided to hike the rest of the way.

I got picked up not ten feet down the road. This was very fortunate, because there weren't any sidewalks and the road itself was, as I've mentioned, very tricksy to navigate.

The guy who gave me the lift was pretty cool and told me about other snow emergencies he's rescued people from in the past. It's kind of like a hobby here in Northfield, from what I can gather. He'd been on peacekeeping missions to Brazil and all sorts of interesting shit.

Anyway, I got home and Seebs took the big car and we went to Target for snow boots (neither of us had a pair) and then to the car to try to dig it out a bit and wait for AAA.

The guy showed up to tow us out a bit later than expected due to the 89 other cars I'd seen off the road by then, and once it was free, I got back in and drove the rest of the way home with extreme caution. Even going under twenty miles an hour, I still slid around like butter on a hot knife whenever there were wheel ruts.

I think I'll wait til they plow it before I go out again.

So, home safe and sound. Dog very happy to see me. I'm told he was very mellow while I was gone, and Rah let him sleep on her to avoid the night-time whinging that had me worrying about everyone's sanity.

Pics of ditch-infested car soon. Woo! My first accident!

Ron Ejaculated. Harry Opened His Mouth And Swallowed.

Harry Potter Audiobooks 1-6: REMIXED



I can't stop giggling. Somebody fucking stab me.

This one's better, though. Can't embed it, so CLICKY!

Snape, Snape, Severus Snape!

Update Post

Updated the comic right on time for once.

While I was working, I finished listening to Harry Potter Book 7. Think I'm gonna read it again from Book 1 before I make any permanent judgments or join in the inevitable fray of fandom debate, but JK Rowling is pretty much my favorite person on Earth right now.

Just think: If I'd waited for the Amazon copy to arrive instead of canceling the order and going to Target instead, I would still be waiting for the book ...a week from today! Eugh.

Update Post

Three new pages are up!

I haven't been able to find much time for computer lately due to new puppy. He's over the fear-pee thing (mostly) and is taking well to his routine. He sleeps through the night and has begun switching over from chewing things that don't belong to him to killing the knotted Rag and stuffed Mr. Monkey instead.

He is now reliably performing "sit", and is close to mastering "lay down." He's a bit fuzzy on "pee" but a few more repetitions should transform him into a living, voice-activated sprinkler system.

He's mastered "Not for dogs" and "No, come this way" but is still not coming to me every time I call him. I got some little training kibbles to help condition him to do this, and they're working pretty well so far. He will go in the bathroom and sit in his snuggly kitty bed without balking, but still whines and cries if I pen him in there and leave him alone for ten minutes. I ignore his theatrics; no dog of mine will ever get his way by throwing fits.

We're going to start crate training as soon as I know how big a kennel to get (he's still growing). He loves his vinyl zippy-kennel and will sit contentedly in there playing with his toys for hours if I'm in the room, but he chewed the zipper off after the first time I shut it on him and went to pee. Now it can't be closed anymore at all. Oh, there was heartache when he did that shit. Heartache and bitter apple spray. And then more heartache as he chewed it up again.

He's learning to fetch a ball and give it back for me to throw again. The big projects are confinement training (so I can leave him alone in the house without coming home to any how-could-you-leave-me-alone-with-all-this-furniture-to-tear-up drama) and teaching him to come and get me when he needs to go outside, instead of just pissing on the floor. He'll cut it out midstream and wait til I get the leash if I catch him in the act, bless his brainless little self, but it'll be nice when he at least knows to whimper or go get his leash and communicate his suffering.

He's sleeping a lot due to boredom so today I'm going to rig up a runner line in the yard and play fetch with him. Ten bucks says he ends up wrapped around a tree looking like God just kicked his ass.

In other news, I'm listening to the final Harry Potter book and totally hooked on it. I expect to have finished it by Saturday's update, at which point I can finally read comments and hang out online again. Well, if the Captain leaves me enough free time in between driving me bugshit and being absolutely adorable.

You know, I talk a lot of shit, but there is nothing quite as wonderful as the devotion and affection of a quiet, calm dog. If only I could stop fantasizing about roasting him at a luau, we'd be bestest friends.

SO TIRED WAH BLOOGAH

The Captain has stopped peeing in terror. He has begun barking at odd noises, but I'm working on training that out of him. He has a little kennel-nest and a Kong and a stuffed monkey, and gets walked several times a day. He likes to play catch in the house with a bouncy tennis ball, but hasn't yet mastered the brakes. Wackiness ensues.

I've been sleeping very poorly since I got him, but so far each night has been an improvement. I've got some child gates and use them to pen him in the bathroom when I need to work, so the comic is back underway and I'm doing my best to make up for lost time.

Also, I cancelled my Amazon order for Harry Potter book 7 on CD after noticing that the estimated shipping date is in frickin' AUGUST and the copy at Target was only a few dollars more. Seebs got me it for my birthday present, and the world did rejoice.

Okay, back to work. Wish me luck!

STAY OUT OF CAMBERWICK GREEN!

I have this mental image of me by the end of this week: huddled in the corner of a barricaded, soundproofed bomb shelter with my purified water jugs and tins of Spam stacked to the ceiling. No TV, no radio, just me and my shotgun, waiting out the storm. In a moment of hunger, I open a Spam tin. Written on the meat are the words "HARRY POTTER DIES OF AIDS." Nooooooooooo!

It's been very quiet on my end since the quarantine began, but I like the vacation. I've gotten 21 miles of walking/cross-country skiiing done on the hamster-wheel this week, plus lots of weight lifting. Artwise, I've already got a good chunk of this week's pages pencilled and various scribbly sketchbook practice.

Final books in hugely popular series should come out more often!

If you're avoiding spoilers (I know a bunch of you were planning to) then I'd advise you to avoid strangers' conversations and the front pages of major newspapers, too, except the people who like my blog are usually the wild-eyed headphone types anyway, and get all their news from the entrails of slaughtered children. And that's why I like 'em.

This morning, I got back from the gym and discovered my arms and face tasted like a salt-lick. Off to the shower I went, and just for funsies, I put my DS in a ZipLoc and fought random monster encounters while saturating my hair. FF5 may have the weakest story of any FF game I've ever played, but gawddamn if the extreme portability factor doesn't make up for it.

Today I ordered a pair of onigiri molds. Making them by hand is too much for my weak wrists, plus it burns the christ out of my palms. The molds were only 6 bucks on eBay, including shipping. I look forward to trying the results out on my next hike.

There is a cat in my room, chewing on a plastic bag. And they say cats are cleverer than dogs...

PS - Finished watching Life on Mars. Brilliant concept, brilliant story, BRILLIANT ending. The cop drama plots tended to get repetetive and draggy, though, and there were times I wanted to wring the characters' necks for behaving like... tv characters... in order to move the plot along. But do I mark the show down for its minor flaws? Oh hell naw. How can I, when shit like this happens?



Hawkwind and Camberwick Green puppet police brutality. It's like chocolate and slightly more chocolate--a perfect marriage of flavor!

I really don't look forward to finding out what American writers do to this awesome series. I've seen the dude they cast as Sam Tyler and he looks like some kind of underwear model. Yuck.

(Mind you, this is coming from a dude who isn't really into dudes, so YMMV.)

Busy as a Killer Bee

Saw Harry Potter. Long fucking movie, but that's all right. It was better at skipping the trivial stuff than its predecessors in many ways. I thoroughly enjoyed most of it. Luna Lovegood was adorable.

Then I hit the gym for a couple of hours. Didn't lift after all, because my left wrist is still twanging and I didn't want to push it. My new shoes started giving me blisters, so next time I go I'll have to stick some moles on or give the treadmill a rest.

There was only crap on the gym telly, but the place was empty so I turned up the volume and changed the channel every five seconds, looking for gory nature shows or caught-on-tape shit. I was watching the last few minutes of a Bleach episode, but then the network hiccupped and froze on Ichigo's affronted face for the next half hour. Animal Planet was having some stupid marathon cut into five minute segments with ten minutes of commercials in between.

Once I'd completed my 5 1/2 mile hamster wheel adventure, I came home and made sketti for dinner. Next I plan to have a shower, fold some laundry, and work on the comic until bedtime. I may never get laid, but I'm an industrious motherfucker.

PS - I'll be AFK a lot this next couple of weeks. Don't expect me to reply much until after Potterdämmerung. Say hi to the wank for me!