Election 2008

I am so proud of you today, America. When I think of all of you, lining up in droves at the polls, taking a stand against apathy and wearing your "I Voted" stickers with pride, it makes me so happy to live here. Go country where I was born! We're possibly quite close to Number One!

The doc told me that she became a citizen after 24 years specifically so she could vote in this election.

At City Hall, where we voted, there was a mock-election with polling booths just for kids, and little "I voted" stickers just for them. D'awwww.

Off to lurk on CNN til it's over with, I reckon. I don't want to miss tonight.

That Time of Year Again!

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I was on my roof, feeding the dog cookies and watching fireworks. Suddenly they were everywhere, hovering, hovering and feeding on the helpless. I fell off the roof when one of them came at me, and was lucky not to land on my head. I got up as quickly as I could, and ran. The screams as I fled through the streets were unbearable.

I hid in the river with a straw to breathe through until they finished the destruction and flew away, but the firefighters and fishermen of the town were not so fortunate. There were bloody helmets and hip waders everywhere. I found the dog the next morning, lapping up puddles of spilled ice cream from the sidewalk and looking completely unscathed. For some reason, they didn't seem to want to eat his brain.

So where were YOU when the flaming spider-skulls attacked?

Hurray for Evil!

Bush vetoes ban on waterboarding torture, citing its proven effectiveness in the war on terror and utterly abandoning any pretense of morality.

I don't often say this anymore because political apathy defeated me right around the time he got re-elected, but Mr. Bush, the mask is slipping.

What's this crap about how America must torture to feel safe in our clean white beds each night? What a ridiculous price to pay for a good night's sleep. This doesn't sound like my homeland at all; in fact, I think a nation with values like that would probably deserve to be conquered.

Happy Bad Tattoo Day!

I hate to break it to you, Olivia, but you're a terrorist.


See? God does have a sense of humor!


I think we all remember where we were and what we were doing the day the flaming spider-skulls attacked.


Stay tuned for the sequel to this tattoo: My Little Coverup!


I don't know what this bald eagle did to deserve life without parole, but his new gang tat is the talk of Block C.


Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts. The Boeing Freedom is now departing from gate 911.


This skin rip is a classic optical illusion. Flag or dick? Flag or dick?


What bird flu really looks like.


The official flag of the People's Republic of NOOOOOOOOOO~! The same artist later went on to design the 2012 Olympics logo.


And I'm TooDisheartened to go on.