Lobotomies = HAWT

Wow, they sure gelded Sophie in the Da Vinci Code film, didn't they?

I didn't have high hopes considering the source material and its author's penchant for "soft eyes" and look-how-clever-I-am plot twists that sort of aren't.

Still, I find it kind of tragic that Hollywood can't even do a movie about the institutionalized supression of the female sex without dumbing down the leading lady from a determined codebreaking femcop into a pretty, doe-eyed sidekick with a mysterious heritage. Then they transplaned her brains into the leading male (of course) so he could save the day (and the girl).

Sophie: "Eek, my mortal enemy, a three-word anagram! Can you decipher it?"

That Guy From Cast Away: "Sure thing, little darlin'! For I have... a penis!"

I should also add that, in my opinion, the first ten minutes looks like a softcore porn version of the Passion of the Christ. This is not actually a criticism per se considering that the Evil Fake Albino Priest is fairly easy on the eyes even when covered in blood, but whatevs.

Typecasting

Argh, I fucking hate it when friends assume I'm going to feel a certain way about something based solely on a conversation they had in their head (or with my freakin' AIM away message, where my silence clearly means disapproving wrath).

And then they just fucking run with it, like it was a real discussion, and talk about it later like I was there. "Hey Luka, you and I were having this argument in my head, and you were really mean, but I totally agree with you that I suck balls (even though I'm kind of mad at you for pointing it out.)"

For shit's sake. You're not psychic, and I'm not happy always being the bad guy in someone else's poorly contained fantasy world. I'm right here and totally willing to give you honest advice that comes from the actual Luka, but instead you project your negative self-image onto me without my permission.

It doesn't help that your characterization of me is simplistic and presumptuous. Is that really the best you know me? Really?

I'm so tired of this happening. And it's always with friends who come to me for advice whenever they fuck up, but get mad if I don't throw them a pity party and blame everyone else for whatever goes wrong. You'd think I laugh in these people's faces and tell them to go fuck themselves.

Yeah I'm an asshole. That's why I spent two hours every other night for an entire week trying to convince you not to give up on living. I just hate you that much.