Shit Fit

I was walking the Captain earlier, and he decided to take a dump on somebody's verge. I picked it all up nice and neat, then placed the bag in a trash bin that was waiting on the curb for pickup.

This screechy voice came out of nowhere, yelling "HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!!" Which is funny, because in the Far Side, "Woof" is "HEY!" in Doginese.

I turned around, and there was this unfortunate-looking blonde lady in the window of the house whose trash it must have been. "WHAT. IS. THAT?"

"Dog poop. I just picked it up." and I showed her my scooper for good measure.

The next thing she said was unintelligible due to pitch and tempo issues, but it was probably something like "Blah blah blah how dare you throw your dirty bag of dog poop on top of my perfectly clean garbage! I spent real time on all those stinky maxi pads, and now you've come along and ruined everything! What will the trash men think? Blah!"

I said "Well, I could throw it somewhere else, but it's already down there. Sorry."

She kept on raving at me. I can only assume she wanted me to take the dog poop out of her trash can and deposit it somewhere else more appropriate (like her mudpit yard, perhaps).

At that point I realized she was basically barking like a territory-crazed yard dog, and there was really nothing else I could say. I disengaged by replacing my headphones in my ears and walking away while she was still going on.

Good gracious, all that fuss over a baggie full of dogshit. No wonder everyone in this town just leaves it wherever it drops.