May 30, 2008

The Killing Joke

So the Scientology cult had their annual bookathon the other day, and something very interesting happened.

They sold 2,257 Scientology handbooks. Previous tallies include 33,944 in 2007 and 49,000 in 2005, according to Dozens and dozens of orgs this year sold zero books, in what might just be the most epic fail yet.

Could this drop in cult sales possibly be the doing of a certain group of shiftless internet tough guys hanging around the Orgs with funny masks and fact sheets for the past four months? It's impossible to say for sure, but the smart money is on "hell yeah."

You know, I keep running into interwebs naysayers who think this movement is all just a big joke that has done no harm whatsoever to Scientology. Well, they're half right--it IS a joke. But a 94% drop in church book sales in one year is one doozy of a punchline, don't you think?

In conclusion, the lulz do good things for society. And it's not the only time this has happened:

Stetson Kennedy, a reporter for the short-lived lefty newspaper PM, went undercover into the Klan, learning the secret passwords and countersigns used by the Grand Dragon "Doc" Green's vicious Klavern No. 1 of Atlanta. For sport, Kennedy passed on the info to writers of the Superman radio show about that comic-book character whom Wade calls "the ultimate antifacist."

-From here.

That incident is generally blamed/thanked for dragging the Klan out of the shadows of respectability and turning it into a freakshow. Membership plunged and, some say, never recovered.

Scientology is nowhere near as bad as the Klan, of course. Yet. Any society, no matter how marginal, whose end goals for our planet include the forced elimination of the physically and mentally disabled, not to mention the eradication of several races it just plain doesn't like, needs to be squished and squished hard, on sheer principle, and as quickly as possible so it doesn't spread.

If all it takes to do that is a nice hard belly-laugh at Miscavige's expense, that's a good thing and I'm grateful for it.











May 25, 2008

Avast, Ye Scurvy Dogs! Join The Sea Arrrrgh on June 14!

Fucking A, man. I'm so there I'm barely here.

If you're interested in joining the Sea Arrrrgh, you can check the forums on to locate protests in your area. Go for the lulz, stay for the neutering of Scientology.

Incidentally this is the best video Anonymous has released to date and whoever made it is a genius.

Dr. Who S4 Episode 6 Review

You know, I really wanted to hate Jenny on principle, but in the end she was just too fucking adorable.

Today's supposed to be my day off, but since I'm schedule-flipping again and it's frickin' 80 and humid out. My room is along a wall that gets direct sunlight most of the day, and the AC doesn't really reach in here, so it's uncomfortable and my lack of sleep has made me stupid. So I'm working on the comic and it's keeping me sane. I'll probably reschedule the day off for after the update.

The Going Slightly Mad Raffle ends tonight, btw! Last chance for tix :)

Oh hey calendar!

Woo, happy birthday, Mom! No wonder I've been kind of :( all day.

In other news, the actor playing Marcus Belby in the next HP movie just got shanked outside a bar. Poor bastard. Imagine your death being a jumping-off point for ten thousand callous fandom jokes.

May 24, 2008

Soaring Past at LUD-icrous Speed...

I just now decided to find out what the buzz was about with podcasts, while looking online for workout/training mixes to put on my iPod. Holy shit there are a lot of free shows out there!

Hi, I'm from 1999. So you guys, like, made it through Y2K okay then?

Germany or Florida Solution

And now for the answer to today's episode of Germany or Florida...


Germany or Florida?

Authorities said Saturday they have taken custody of a 7-month-old boy after his parents posted an ad on eBay offering to sell him.

A spokesman for police said the baby was placed in the care of youth services, although the child's 23-year-old mother insisted the ad was only a joke.

Authorities have launched an investigation into possible child trafficking against the baby's mother and 24-year-old father, neither of whom was identified.

"Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches (70 cm) long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller," police quoted the ad as reading.

No offers were made for the child in the two hours and 30 minutes the ad was posted on Tuesday. EBay later deleted the posting, but assisted police in tracking down the parents.

Several people who saw the ad alerted police.

So where'd it happen, Germany or Florida?

(No Googling or ruining it for other players if you already know the answer.)

Wingsuit Jumping

Holy shit I love my species right now.

May 23, 2008


I stayed up all night because I was listening to Cormack McCarthy's The Road while I inked the comic, and I ended up so tense and anxious that I finally had to admit I wasn't getting any sleep until I finished the story, which I just did, and holy shit that book crushed my soul. It made the movie Children of Men seem like a Disneyland boat ride by comparison.

I wonder if McCarthy ever read Stephen King's The Gunslinger. The two novels had a very similar atmosphere of hopeless questing in an utterly ruined world, though King took his nameless protagonist and boy in a completely different direction plotwise.

Just do yourself a favor and don't read The Road if you're feeling in any way suicidal. A lot of popular stories taking place in a post-apocalyptic setting tend to pull the punch a bit and focus on the hope of rebuilding the human race, whereas McCarthy's take on the situation is basically "EVERYTHING IS FUCKED AND OH BY THE WAY THERE'S A BABY ON A SPIT. SLEEP TIGHT."

I utterly loved it, but goddamn. I need to hug a kitten or something just to get back my will to live.

Fantasy Takes Another Hit

Robert Asprin passed away yesterday.

Well that just plain bites. I remember enjoying his books when I was a kid.

May 22, 2008

Anonymous and Scientology are WORST ENEMIES AGAIN

The meeting between Tamphex and the Sea Org has been called on account of fair gaming:

Remember my PI friend a few months ago with his video camera and his silly dog? Well, for the last week or so there's been a guy around fifty, white hair and beard parked directly across the road from my apartment. Sometimes hes there when I look out and sometimes hes not. To the casual observer, just a guy waiting for someone or whatever. However this morning I looked out as I was getting ready for the flier run and noticed he was once again parked in the same spot, but a closer inspection revealed that directly below the drivers side door on the road was about 20 cigarette butts to which he added his 21st as he looked up at me.

Now this may not be much until you start putting things together- remember those dodgy movies that show a person on a stakeout and it shows all the cig butts on the ground to show how long they've been sitting there? Also when I left for the raid he was gone again. And then my two friends from the Castlereagh Dianetics Centre and the Sea Org turn up at Darling Harbor. Magically locating me in a pretty large city amongst a lot of people.

And to add a little more salt; the number supplied to me from my so concerned pal from the Sea Org was the actual contact number for Vicki Dunston. Google that name but throw in the words OSA at the end. And here's her husband:

"Dunstan, John – Systems Off Gold, ANZO RPF "

It's pretty clear to me now that they're got the target on me. And it's not just myself. Emma from the ESKSCN (Ex Scientologist Message Board) has had issues recently concerning a PI scoping out not only her house, but seen going through her mail as well. (

His response was basically "Fuck this noise, see you on the 14th." Good man! Most likely they would have tried to badger him into making some stupid statement on behalf of Anonymous which they could then blow up into a PR frenzy. It's too bad; lots of fireworks could have come out of a careful and well-considered meeting with the Beast.

Also, and this is REALLY interesting, an underage Anon from the Netherlands was kidnapped by the Org after somewhat foolishly going inside to ask for a DVD. She tells the full story here.

God damn they're getting desperate. Mwee hee hee.

Trainwreck Syndrome

I should be in bed, but instead I'm on YouTube watching some moron pry his own eyeball out of his skull with a pair of spoons.

You have to wonder how much Jack Daniels it takes to put an idea like that in your head, but the results were at least educational.

Sebaceous cyst draining videos, however, are still the clear winners of the Luka Trainwreck Award of 2008. You just can't look the fuck away. A close runner-up would be surgery on an abscessed eyelid, followed by pilonidal cysts (which are even grosser-looking before they get scooped out of your butt crack).

When I was a kid, I once had the horrors upon discovering a botfly in my kitten's throat. Looking back, it wasn't that bad!

Anonymous and Scientology On Speaking Terms?

Breaking news! The Sea Org wants to discuss terms with founder.

During what seemed a run of the mill flier raid today with myself and 5 others in the Sydney CBD ended with a conversation from the local Sea Org who has extended the offer to me to come in and discuss our collective grievances, our concerns and hopefully, the changes we're all been pushing to have.

This is the first contact between our factions. The story is hot off the internets and still developing, so keep an eye on the thread for updates as it continues to unfold.

I'm not putting away my eyepatch and hook-hand just yet, obviously, because these people are ruthless and evil. But this is still HUGE news. If anyone is left who doubts their own power to make real changes in the world, I ask them to take note of the fact that four months of easy, fun protests and fact-spreading has been enough to scare the shit out of this evil cult, to the point where their pseudo-militia is asking for peaceful resolutions. Even Time magazine couldn't do that, and we're just a bunch of internet nerds in masks.

Scientology extending an olive branch to its critics? It's never been done before. Either they're up to something truly foul (which would itself be more fodder for our cause) or we're about to see the first positive change in the history of the cult.

Stay on target, yer scabrous bastards! She ain't done for yet and the fight's but half done!

May 21, 2008

Happy Birthday, Banjax!

Grief and sorrow fill the air,
Children dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Plague and famine in the air,
People dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Doom, destruction, and despair,
People dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Gloom and doom and dark despair,
People dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out You Know What.
Happy Birthday ...

May the cities in your wake
Burn like candles on your cake.
Happy Birthday ...

See the women wail and weep.
Kill them all but save the sheep.
Happy Birthday ...

Hear the women wail and weep;
Kill them all but spare the sheep.
Happy Birthday ...

Rape the women while they sleep,
Kill them all but save the sheep.
Happy Birthday ...

You're a period cook, 'tis true;
Ask the beetles in the stew.
Happy Birthday ...

Now your jail-bait days are done;
Let's go out and have some fun.
Happy Birthday ...

May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks
Happy Birthday ...

You must marry very soon;
Baby's due the next full moon.
Happy Birthday ...

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue,
Your children plot to murder you.
Happy Birthday ...

They stole your sword, your gold, your house,
Took your sheep but not your spouse.
Happy Birthday ...

Were I sitting in your shoes,
I'd go out and sing the blues.
Happy Birthday ...

Though you're turning 29,
Age to you is like fine wine.
Happy Birthday ...

So you're 29 again;
Don't tell lies to your good friend.
Happy Birthday ...

Now you've lived another year,
Age to you is like stale beer.
Happy Birthday ...

So another year has past,
Don't look back, they're gaining fast,
Happy Birthday ...

Long ago your hair turned grey;
Now it's falling out, they say.
Happy Birthday ...

Now you've lived another year,
And your death is drawing near.
Happy Birthday ...

Now you've reached the age you are,
Your demise cannot be far.
Happy Birthday ...

The Black Death just struck your town;
You yourself feel quite run-down.
Happy Birthday ...

It's your birthday; never fear:
You'll be dead this time next year.
Happy Birthday ...

We've brought linen, white as cloud;
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud.
Happy Birthday ...
Two more pages of the comic are posted and await your viewing joy.

Also, if you haven't gotten your Going Slightly Mad raffle tix yet, now's your last chance!

It ends on the 25th, so good luck to all who've entered.

May 20, 2008

Scientology Cries At Night, Sometimes

So a quick Scientology protest post before I get back to coloring the comic:

Teenager faces prosecution for calling Scientology 'cult'

A teenager is facing prosecution for using the word "cult" to describe the Church of Scientology.

The unnamed youth was served the summons by City of London police when he took part in a peaceful demonstration opposite the headquarters of the controversial religion in London.

Officers confiscated a placard with the word "cult" on it from the youth, who is under 18, and a case file has been sent to the Crown Prosecution Service.

A date has not yet been set for him to appear in court.

The decision to issue the summons has angered human rights activists and support groups for the victims of cults.

The incident happened during a protest against the Church of Scientology on May 10.

Demonstrators from the anti-Scientology group, Anonymous, who were outside the church's £23m headquarters near St Paul's cathedral were banned from describing Scientology as a cult by police because it was "abusive and insulting".

Writing on an anti-Scientology website, the teenager facing court said: "I brought a sign to the May 10th protest that said: 'Scientology is not a religion, it is a dangerous cult'."

"'Within five minutes of arriving I was told by a member of the police that I was not allowed to use that word, and that the final decision would be made by the inspector."

A policewoman later read him section five of the Public Order Act and "strongly advised" him to remove the sign. Section five of the Public Order Act prohibits signs which have representations or words which are threatening, abusive or insulting.

The teenager refused to back down quoting a 1984 high court ruling from Mr Justice Latey, in which he described the Church of Scientology as a "cult" which was "corrupt, sinister and dangerous".

After the exchange, a policewoman handed him a court summons and removed his sign.

On the website he asks for advice on how to fight the charge: "What's the likelihood I'll need a lawyer? If I do have to get one, it'll have to come out of my pocket money."

Writing on the same website, another anonymous demonstrator said: "We also protested outside another Scientology building in Tottenham Court Road which is policed by a separate force, the Metropolitan police, who have never tried to stop us using the word cult.

"We're completely peaceful protesters expressing a perfectly valid opinion. This whole thing stinks."

The City of London Police, who issued the summons, came under fire two years ago when it emerged that more than 20 officers, ranging from constable to chief superintendent, had accepted gifts worth thousands of pounds from the Church of Scientology.

City of London police chief superintendent, Kevin Hurley, praised Scientology for "raising the spiritual wealth of society" during the opening
of its £23m headquarters near St Paul's Cathedral in 2006.

And last year a video praising Scientology emerged featuring Ken Stewart, another of the City of London's chief superintendents, although he is not a member of the group.

The group was foundeded by science-fiction writer L Ron Hubbard in 1952 and espouses the idea that humans are descended from an exiled race of aliens called Thetans.

The church continues to attract controversy over claims that it separates members from their families and indoctrinates followers.

A spokeswoman for the force said today: "City of London police had received complaints about demonstrators using the words 'cult' and 'Scientology kills' during protests against the Church of Scientology.

"Following advice from the crown prosecution service some demonstrators were warned verbally and in writing that their signs breached section five of the Public Order Act.

"One demonstrator continued to display a placard despite police warnings and was reported for an offence under section five. A file on the case will go to the CPS."

The decision by City of London Police to issue the summons provoked anger from civil liberties campaigners and groups helping former cult members.

Liberty director, Shami Chakrabarti, said: "This barmy prosecution makes a mockery of Britain's free speech traditions.

"After criminalising the use of the word 'cult', perhaps the next step is to ban the words 'war' and 'tax' from peaceful demonstrations?"

Ian Haworth, from the Cult Information Centre which provides advice for victims of cults and their families, said: "This is an extraordinary situation. If it wasn't so serious it would be farcical. The police's job is to protect and serve. Who is being served and who is being protected in this situation? I find it very worrying.

"Scientology is well known to my organisation, and has been of great concern to me for 22 years. I get many calls from families with loved ones involved and ex-members who are in need of one form of help."

-From this article.

I haven't really been doing a lot of posting about Scientology and the protests lately due to work and time managment issues, but that doesn't mean the movement has been dying down. Very much the contrary! We've got assaults against protesters, police investigations, fake bomb threats up the wazzoo, and cult victims leaving in droves to tattle on their former masters. It's wacky fun.

Basically they're starting to realize we mean actual business, and instead of ignoring us, the cult is now actively fighting back. We're going to see lots of crazy stories like the one I just posted above.

Those of you who are interested in showing up, remember it's June 14th, y'all. JUNE 14. The protest theme is going to be "Sea ARRRGH" and we are supposed to come dressed appropriately for the occasion.

And that, my friends, means we will be PIRATES.

May 17, 2008

Gone Fishin'

So I blew off my work today and went fishing. Now I've got to spend all of tomorrow with my nose to the grindstone to catch up, but it was totally worth it.

Didn't catch anything. Guess they weren't in the mood for corn tonight, ah well. It was good times.

May 16, 2008

You're So Much More Than A Reproducer

Leslie, this one's for you. Congratulations!

(I would have posted this in your blog but the settings won't let me comment under my Lukadia name. Can I has re-friendsing now that I use it again?).

May 15, 2008

Random Photo Post

Just because, here's a collection of beautiful things I've saved off Google Internet Search recently:

the vanity-dance of the digital dickweed

ARGH fuck you Stefan Sonnenfeld, fuck you to the sky and back.

Don't know who that is? Well, he's the asshole responsible for doing THIS:

See the blurring? No, it's not a bad photoshop. It's two unaltered screenshots from Sweeney Todd on DVD. See, it turns out they hired some special-effects dickweed to make the film unwatchable.

They call it a 'digital makeover.' Only the dickweed doesn't bother smoothing Depp's whole face, just the cheeks and nose, so the pores in his forehead still stand out in sharp focus even when the tip of his nose is Gaussian Blurred into oblivion to make his skin look like a baby girl's.

And it's not consistent, either. Sometimes there are five or six frames in a row without the bad photoshop effect, then it comes back and flickers in and out of focus for another few dozen frames. Sometimes the blurring migrates around on Depp's face like a living sheath of vasoline, leaving exposed wrinkles and pores that quickly vanish and come back.

When I slow-motion the film, the photoshopped areas turn bright and fill up with artifacts that stand out against the rest of the frozen movie frames.

What was this movie supposed to be about again? Something about shaving? Fuck it. I don't even care. I've never turned my nose up at a film because of the bad special effects before, but this is the worst botch-job I've ever seen by a country mile. I can't not notice. On the contrary, it's ALL I can see.

You know what it's like? It's like trying to get into a suspense movie for the first time while watching it with a fangirl who won't stop pointing out trivia and reminding you to pay attention to every subtle foreshadowing as it unfolds because "that'll be important later."

And I KILL people who do that.

Maybe I'm just 'sperging here, but that doesn't ease my disenchantment with what would otherwise have been a fairly decent movie.

This crap even tops the home video edition of Titanic where you can see giant black squares in the night sky above the ship around all the special effects that were pasted in. And IIRC, that piece of shit won an Oscar for best special effects!


California's Ban on Same-Sex Marriage Struck Down



May 14, 2008

Today Was Dogs


My dog is a brave little toaster! I took him for a long, random bike ride on quiet streets to get him good and tired. Came home, had lunch, gathered his paperwork and then we biked to the vet clinic half a mile away.

In the waiting room, the Captain was anxious but calm and whined a few times. I don't blame him at all. Last time he went inside one of those places, they cut his nuts off. I'd want to steer clear too (pun definitely intended).

The only other time I've been at a vet clinic was a few months ago, when I volunteered to take Molly in to have her spay stitches removed. The doctor forced her down without any compassion whatsoever and ripped the scabs off with his fingers and a scalpel. He wasn't unskilled, but he acted like he was angry with the cat and his attitude toward me was dismissive at best.

The Captain has anxiety issues and would be a floppy, retarded sprinkler of fear pee after two seconds with that guy. So we decided to schedule the first-ever Captain Cookiepants checkup with the Cannon Valley Clinic instead.

That place was amazing. It was well-lit and clean and everyone working there was clearly an animal lover. They were gentle and went out of their way in every case to comfort and handle the animals I saw in the lobby. The vet tech and doctor offered treats to distract the Captain for his shots, and even played with him while we talked about his health history and went over the vaccinations he'd need. They were really impressed by his nodding trick and general mellow attitude.

He was not a fan of the needles, which sucked because they had to draw a second sample after the first one didn't work out, but it was over quickly. He's now vaccinated against rabies, distemper, lyme disease, and Scientology. I also picked up a two-year supply of heartworm medication and a one-year supply of FrontLine.

The final cost was more than what I (wincingly) paid to adopt him last year, but I think it says something about the bonding experience that this time around, I was crowing about what a bargain it was.

The heartworm/lyme tests came back negative. He did test positive for antibodies to anaplasmosis (GODDAMN TICKS!), but the doc assured me that 95% of the time, the dog will remain asymptomatic and it's no big deal. He might still get sick months later, so if his appetite and demeanor suddenly changes in the next year or so, I'll just need to bring him in and get antibiotics. Apparently ticks can infect humans with anaplasmosis too, so now I'm extra extra paranoid about one biting me this summer.

Oh, and the Captain's physical condition is excellent. His ripped muscles stood out and impressed everybody, and he's gained 12 pounds of pure muscle in the past six months. Distance running him with my bike is really doing him good.

Great teeth, clean ears, bright eyes. Overall, the one thing I have to do now is stop giving him beef bones to destroy. Not because they'll splinter like chicken and pork bones do, but larger dogs have a higher risk of splitting their back teeth on them. So from now on it's old towels and rawhide for my 62-pound lap dog.

Finally, the vet confirmed that with his dominant Pointerness it's safer to teach him to stay away from the cats than try to make them ok with each other, so I'm going to go back to my "keep Inotek unit in pocket and carry cat around, and shock him when he gets too close" plan, which seemed to be working.

After a day of running and panting and being fed treats and poked with sharp things and meeting new people with clipboards, I thought he would be ready to go home and collapse. Nope! He just about dragged me to the dog park. After being thoroughly trounced by a husky puppy twice his size, he was finally ready to sleep. Now he's conked out on my bed, smelling faintly of Frontline and with a belly full of heartworm chewie.

It is a good life, being a dog.


May 13, 2008

Update Post!

Two new pages are up here! SO MANY NIPPLES TO COLOR, SO LITTLE TIME.

Meanwhile, refreshing the plug for the awesome Going Slightly Mad Raffle:

Grand prize is a guest starring role in the comic! Second prize is a pair of beautiful rainbow armsocks, and third prize is a gift certificate to the Studio Store.

Rules and entry info are Here. Good luck!

May 10, 2008


Woke up feeling sick, went right back to bed. Slept through the protests, goddamn it. :(

Damn you roomies. YOU did this to me, with your bacteria and your fever and your throwing up willy-nilly.

At least I got my revenge on a certain vomiting roomie who shall not be named (except that her nickname is Rah and she's Rah). After she blew chunks of spinach tuna sandwich puree out'n her nose double-barrel style last night, I performed a scientific experiment on her to see if snorting a bowl of saline solution (1 teaspoon Kosher salt to 2 cups warm water) would wash the residue out of her sinuses.

You would not believe her face when she tested my idea. It was like something out of a "Miracle of Life" video. Worked like a charm though.

Thanks to aforementioned feeling like crap, I'm going to be late again with the update. MEH!

May 9, 2008

Iron Man

I had never heard about or seen a promo for Iron Man. I didn't even know it was coming out.

I also have never read the comic. I knew there was one by that title and that's it.

But three separate people came to me this week from similar positions of unfamiliarity to DEMAND that I go see the movie NOW NOW NOW, so I figured it might be a nice distraction from the unpleasantness of my actual work, and went tonight.

Conclusion: DEAR GOD YOU MUST SEE THIS MOVIE. I mean holy crap, it was so much fun. I can't say I have ever enjoyed a superhero movie more in my life, and I'm counting the Matrix and both the first and second X-Men films.

I have a mecha-boner that hasn't gone down for four hours now. Even the babbling of every other person in the theatre throughout the entire film wasn't enough to ruin it for me.

PS - Stay past the credits. They always put something extra in after the credits.


Oh, and this is fabulous. Found it on one of the JF wank communities:

Fans of Dave Sim must now sign a declaration that he is not a misogynist or he won't correspond with them. The fine print then goes on to specify that he has several desirable toys and is more than willing to take them and go home if the other children won't let him win. He may even tell.

Yeah, good luck with that, Mr. "the Emotional Female Void devours what is left of the civilisation which has been built by the Rational Male Light." I'm sure the benefit of being surrounded only by the sort of people who would kiss a man's ass for the privilege of hearing him gasp out platitudes about how much women suck will take away the sting of not actually being very relevant at all.

Who'd even sign it? The guy publishes incoherently purple fantasies wherein a totally fictional character (named after himself), tortures the shrieking 'Female Void' into humbled female silence with the power of philosophy-101 logic exercises.

I'll admit I've heard good things about his other stuff, but I refuse to read it unless he signs this paper declaring me the King of Planet Bob. It's only fair.

May 8, 2008

Luka's Made-Up Word of the Day: Wendenctious

Wendenctious (Adj.) - The default emotional state of a feline. Wendenctiousness is characterized by flirtatious overtures combined at random with rejection (and occasional violence).

I Has A Petdog

It's official: I am a dog owner.

This is not news in a technical sense. but thanks to my angst-filled family history, I don't really bond very well with animals. For years I refused to consider getting a pet because I was scared I'd be like my Mom and neglect/collect/abuse them. But dammit, I was all lonesome. I need something to take care of and keep me out of my own head. Besides, some guys just need to have a dog. I think it's the same with girls and cheesecake, except for the eating part.

So I said "fuck the angst, let's adopt!" and ran with it. For the first 8 months having the Captain, it sucked because of his behavior problems. Emotionally he was aloof and meek in turns. I could take or leave him. Gradually we settled into a routine and he started to mellow out a little. I reserved judgment on whether I should even keep him at points, and was plagued by a constant sense of buyer's remorse. I would periodically conjure up scenes of him getting hit by a car or getting old and dying to test myself, and it didn't really seem like that much of a disaster. I figured that the day I cringed and feared for his safety would be the day he became my dog.

Well, the little fucker has won me over. For the past few months he's started seeking out affection from his humans. He obeys most of the time, and he hardly ever becomes Pee Dog when emotionally overwhelmed. Most importantly, he lays his head on me and sighs when he's about to go to sleep. He's developing quirks and personality and he does funny things to amuse us all.

The squeeing in our household does not stop.

So this is my official declaration for those of you who've been listening to me pramble on about how I wasn't sure yet if we were a good fit: Mission Accomplished. Today I read a story about somebody's old dog getting put to sleep and was totally bummed out by the idea that it will happen to the Captain someday.

Little bastard took his time, but he finally has his hooks in me.

I still beat him mercilessly from time to time, to make sure he doesn't think he's completely in charge, but yeah. I'm glad I got him.

I'm also glad puppies don't stay puppies forever. Eeeesh!

May 7, 2008

Thunderstorm, Complete

I uploaded the whole storm from last week:


After Today's Bike Run


-The Captain

I am very happy. I will be able to get him to a vet for his checkup and vaccinations soon thanks to all the raffle entries we're getting. Hoo-ray!


Grand prize is a guest starring role in the comic! Second prize is a pair of beautiful rainbow armsocks, and third prize is a gift certificate to the Studio Store.

Rules and entry info are here.

It is delicious commerce. You must consume it.

May 6, 2008

Last Week's Thunderstorm

Part one of probably five or six. Once they're all done, I'll put the whole collection to music or just reinsert the audio of the storm itself since it's incredibly noisy and intense. Enjoy!

I spent most of today sleeping, so the raffle will have to wait til tomorrow.

May 5, 2008

update post

Two new pages of Kagerou are up! LOVE THEM WELL!

Raffle starts tomorrow. Trust me when I say the grand prize this time is going to be rad-tastic plus four. I mean sincerely. But I can't tell you why because it'll be a huge spoiler for the story.

May 4, 2008

Unintentional Headline Fun

I love when things like this happen:

Mother Vugger

When I was maybe nine, we went to a church friend's house for Easter. They lived in the mountains, right next to a little creek that came down through their yard from the woods. I got bored waiting for dinner and decided to explore the creek, and I started finding crystals.

I was wearing a really pretty Easter dress with pockets, so I filled them up as I climbed the hillside. There were all sorts of pieces, but the one I remember the most was the clear quartz crystal, about as long as my finger, with what looked like a cloud of blood suspended inside it. I pulled it out of the water with my own hands and it was like magic. A switch flipped in my head and I was hooked for life.

I don't know how far I walked, but suddenly there was a man on the hillside, yelling at me to go back, that I was on private property. So I turned around and went back to the Easter house, soaking wet and covered in mud. My mom was pissed, but I didn't care. I had zoned out in the hunt, and my pockets were bulging with rocks.

Some months later, my friend from across the street stole the blood crystal. I saw it in his sock drawer when I was over visiting one day, and didn't have the courage to steal it back or confront him. I never got it back.

The same friend's little sister also tried to steal a beautiful V-shaped twin crystal that was my second-favorite piece, but when I caught her and tried to take it back, she dropped it in the street and it broke. I kept the pieces on the roof with my toys and wished I could put it back together, but I didn't have access to superglue and never thought to ask my parents for help. I like to think the broken crystal is still up there, along with all the toys I abandoned when we moved, bleaching in the sun this past sixteen years.

And that's how I became a rockhound. The frustration, the hunt, the prize--I crave it every day. I dream about it at night. I lust after another man's collection. I covet my neighbor's rocky backyard. I whine and pine over the one that got away. I undress roadcuts with my eyes on every car trip. I'm a sick pervert and there's no fixing it. The only cure is the disease. I'm doomed.

Anyway, today I was checking DA and came across a specimen of blood quartz that reminded me of the small crystal I found all those years ago. On a whim, I checked out eBay to see if there were any smaller pieces for sale that looked like my long-lost specimen.

And what did I find? Oh, golly but it's glorious.

Check out this spectacular fakery.

I sent an email to The Vug about it, because dude.... air bubbles!? I'm no expert in minerals or nothin', but even I know not to buy supernaturally polished crystals full of swirly air bubbles. Maybe as a paperweight since it IS pretty (for a piece of polished glass). But Jeeesus. Air bubbles. I wonder if they'll add it to their spectacular fraud page.

And so, the hunt for blood quartz continues.

Chores and Art, Art and Chores

I spent the week doing real-world things that I've been putting off for ages. For example, I obtained a 100% rating on One Piece: Unlimited Adventure. Wait, that doesn't count. Let me start over with my grown-up words.

First I called and quit my Audible account. I got tired of not having the money, then having it only to have their automatic billing monkey take the money one day before the month ends so that I never get my books before my credits reset. Believe it or not, the final straw for me came when I noticed they now brag to potential new customers that the monthly credits do not expire. I could have been happy about this, or exasperated. I chose the latter.

Audible makes it so you can't cancel the account online, but they don't mention the procedure anywhere on the site. I finally found the number on somebody's "quit Audible" rant/tutorial from like a year ago. When I finally got to a human being, all he wanted was my username and my email address, and it took maybe ten seconds total.

No wonder they keep the quit procedure so hidden. Angry ninjas could have called and canceled my account at any time, and I would have been powerless against their attack. Thanks, Audible, for being so concerned with my account security!

But it's done. $21 bucks a month saved by depriving myself of the joy of reading, woo!

Next I got busy wrestling with my Anytime Fitness account since the great outdoors has become my gym of late, but it turns out the contract won't let me out until September. Which is right around the time I was planning to sign up again for the winter, so that sucks.

And then I mailed off all the buttons and raffle prizes I've been sitting on like a big fat dumbass, and then the week was over and I hadn't done anything on the comic. It never rains but it pours, boys and girls.

Anyway! I have a lot of work to do today, so we now return to my regularly scheduled comicking-like-a-mofo.

So much for Sundays off D:

Oh yeah, and I finished the new sketchbook last night. The second montage from the book is now posted on DA, so go see go see!