Sciento--oh fuck it, you already know where this is going.

Just a heads-up. My last post on Scientology got hit with some copypasta about how Lisa McPherson's death had nothing at alllll to do with her having been tied to a bed and starved for more than two weeks. Fair enough, thought I, we might as well investigate this.

When I googled the text of the copypasta in question, I found the source: this highly informative page dedicated to debunking silly myths about Scientology.

Our goal is to find answers from independent sources, not Church of Scientology owned sites and not avowed anti-Scientology sites either. We pull our information from court documents and other reliable sources and lay out the information for you to come to your own conclusions based on the provided information and facts.

Court documents and reliable sources? Well that sounds reasonable! (Even though every single source linked from the website goes straight up L. Ron Hubbard's ass).

But it did change my mind on one thing. Earlier, I stated that Scientologists killed Lisa McPherson. This is patently false. Let the record show that tying a mentally ill woman to a bed for two weeks and letting her dry up like a piece of beef jerky until she has an embolism is not murder, but merely a tragic accident. Scientology's hands are clean, and besides, people die every day.

Continuing to browse, I've discovered a page on the same site explaining the true damage of Xenu-spoilers. See, according to these much-touted court documents and very reliable sources, Xenu's very name is a killing word, and Scientology is structured to stop the gosh-darn government using it as a weapon of mass discussion.

I have heard that the military asked about obtaining Dianetics for use in the cold war before it was released to the public. This use is known as "Black Dianetics". It was noted immediately that the same technology used to free man, could be used to enslave him as a military robot, or worse.

I personally knew someone who discovered this altered incorrect "OT" technology on the internet and tried to apply it to himself and it basically drove him crazy, and soon after, he killed himself.

Far from being a money-hungry scam, the CoS is keeping Xenu a secret to save the world from being Muad'Dibbed into the stone age.

Well that settles it! This website is LEGIT.

Truly we must hide the secret of Xenu from anyone who hasn't paid the Church thousands and thousands of dollars--not just for the safety of its members, but for the good of all mankind. Wouldn't want any more innocent people having any tragic accidents now, would we?



PS - On a completely, absolutely and utterly unrelated topic, his week's update will be late Sunday evening or Monday afternoon, due to having to be in Minneapolis all day for a roadside picnic with several dozen friends from the internet whose names I don't know and whose faces I probably won't ever see. We're heading out at the unheard-of hour of 11 AM into sub-zero conditions, but but as I have designed a kind of wind-shelter using a piece of poster board and a wooden dowel, I should be okay. I expect to get my picture taken a lot while I'm there. Maybe some of you will be there too?