Happy Birthday, Banjax!

Grief and sorrow fill the air,
Children dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Plague and famine in the air,
People dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Doom, destruction, and despair,
People dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Gloom and doom and dark despair,
People dying everywhere.
Happy Birthday ...

Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out You Know What.
Happy Birthday ...

May the cities in your wake
Burn like candles on your cake.
Happy Birthday ...

See the women wail and weep.
Kill them all but save the sheep.
Happy Birthday ...

Hear the women wail and weep;
Kill them all but spare the sheep.
Happy Birthday ...

Rape the women while they sleep,
Kill them all but save the sheep.
Happy Birthday ...

You're a period cook, 'tis true;
Ask the beetles in the stew.
Happy Birthday ...

Now your jail-bait days are done;
Let's go out and have some fun.
Happy Birthday ...

May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks
Happy Birthday ...

You must marry very soon;
Baby's due the next full moon.
Happy Birthday ...

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue,
Your children plot to murder you.
Happy Birthday ...

They stole your sword, your gold, your house,
Took your sheep but not your spouse.
Happy Birthday ...

Were I sitting in your shoes,
I'd go out and sing the blues.
Happy Birthday ...

Though you're turning 29,
Age to you is like fine wine.
Happy Birthday ...

So you're 29 again;
Don't tell lies to your good friend.
Happy Birthday ...

Now you've lived another year,
Age to you is like stale beer.
Happy Birthday ...

So another year has past,
Don't look back, they're gaining fast,
Happy Birthday ...

Long ago your hair turned grey;
Now it's falling out, they say.
Happy Birthday ...

Now you've lived another year,
And your death is drawing near.
Happy Birthday ...

Now you've reached the age you are,
Your demise cannot be far.
Happy Birthday ...

The Black Death just struck your town;
You yourself feel quite run-down.
Happy Birthday ...

It's your birthday; never fear:
You'll be dead this time next year.
Happy Birthday ...

We've brought linen, white as cloud;
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud.
Happy Birthday ...