Best Chair and Kefka's Prayer

The gods have heard my cry for more furniture to populate my crack-den looking bedroom! While I was biking with the Captain tonight, I found a tiny gray-blue rocker/recliner by the roadside with a FREE sign on it.

It looked okay, but I've done this dance before. First thing to do with free shit is always, always perform a sniff test. It smelled like somebody's nice clean apartment, so I checked all over for nasty shit--bugs, burn marks, vomit inside the cushions. Nothing wrong there either. So I sat in it and reclined to check for broken parts or random collapsing furniture disorder.

Nothing seemed amiss, although there was one small tear on the footrest and a small red stain on the backrest (not blood). It fit perfectly into the station wagon, too. After Seebs and Rah carried it up the stairs for my crippled worthless ass, I spent the next two hours lying in it, playing video games and occasionally demanding my roomies each come and admire the Best Chair Ever.

FACT! Best Chair is super squishy and just the right size for a short wad of Lukas to snuggle up on.

FACT! The little stain took three seconds to scrub out using 409 and a rag, and the rip is on the bottom and won't even show if I take the trouble to mend it.

FACT! It provides support for my neck while I watch DVDs on the computer. This will help the healing process.

FACT! Nobody cares about Best Chair but me.


In less perseverative news, I had another psych appointment today. Dr. D wanted to see my art, so I showed her on her laptop. Kind of awkward since she's such a nice lady and my sense of humor is awfully rough around the edges, but hey--this is someone I'm paying to get to know me better. Sooner or later she'll find out I draw My Little Ponies on fire and girls with masses of eyeballs instead of cooters, so it might as well be sooner.

I also did a little depression quiz thing, and am assigned the task of picking a local doctor so I can get a prescription for ritalin.

Also I screwed up and forgot to ask lawyer guy to send the Northfield clinic their own separate proof that I've retained him, so they're threatening to send my bill to collections.

Hmm. You know, next time somebody brushes off ADHD as no big deal, I should show them a printout of my credit rating. I don't want to become diagnosis-becomes-my-catchall-scapegoat guy, but if the shoe fits...

FACT! I was sleeping this morning and the dog started scratching himself in his sleep. He was kicking the wall Rah and I share so loudly it woke me up. I made him get off the bed, and he fear-peed all over my nice soft blanket AND it got on my sheet. I suppose I should be happy that this has only happened a couple of times in the past year of dog ownership, but I can't pretend visions of luau roasts weren't dancing in my groggy head.

Completely unrelated, but I composed this earlier and need to write it down so I don't forget:

THE INSANITY PRAYER
Lord, grant me the ambition to conquer the world,
The power to enslave mankind with my Ray of Judgment,
And the badass final boss mutations to kill any spunky heroes who invade my dungeon and try to make a difference.

Amen.