When the lyrics to Nine Inch Nails songs start to make sense, you know you're one depressed motherfucker.
I'm flying under the radar, as far away from other people as I can get. At least for a little while, don't expect to see much of me.
Rain is leaving for Asheville on Monday. This is not the cause, or even a cause, of my depression; I've known since autumn that she was planning to go, and I think she'll do really well and make lots of cool hippie friends for me to make fun of.
And I'm glad she stayed this long. She got me through Omaha in one piece, and that would not have happened if I were down there alone.
But feeling abandoned is a kind of a theme for me right now, and so I'm more bummed out about her going away than I would otherwise be. Woe is me, everyone leaves. Ooh, hey. Sounds like a good title for a crappy poem!
April 22, 2007
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Lame. :(
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
Aww. Poor Lukas!
ReplyDeleteWe will comfort you by bringing you cats. MORE AND MORE CATS!
And a bunny.
I think it's just that time of year, or something. Everyone and their mother (that I know) is going through some variety of depression, aggrivation or otherwise hate of themselves or their lives..
ReplyDeleteLets hope this is all it is....
Good luck with yours.
Eternaldarkfire from LJ (i dont have a Blogspot...)
Appologies if this doesnt make sense. Sleep was hiding from me last night...
I think my grieving state has been getting worse instead of better as time goes by. At least I'm not having dreams about her lately, but death can fuck your shit right up.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been able to handle my business since then--my plate is absolutely full and there's no room to feel anything else. Distraction helps, but that's all it is--distraction.
There's also some stuff I can't talk about or even think about, and Rain leaving for Asheville adds a certain "HA HA, EVERYONE LEAVES" icing to the cake.
Which is totally not fair to Rain, because she stuck around for six months and walked me through the worst weeks of my life, and I'm not even mad at her for leaving.
Emotions are just weird.
Take care of yourself, Luka. You've had a really rough year! Just do what you've got to do, and I'm sure those pesky "emotions" will get better soon.
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