June 11, 2007

Hypothetical Dog

Now that I'm done with cons and won't have any long trips for several months, it's time to revisit the old debate: should I get a dog?

Judging by how long I've been spending on Petfinder, the answer is yes. Specific reasons:

1. Companionship. I am alone for perhaps 20 hours out of every day. The cats are nice, but they're also loners. Hypothetical would be a good listener who I could put in a crate when I had to go run errands. How awesome is that?

2. Therapy. Having somebody else to think about and take care of, needing to maintain a schedule in order to keep that other person from dying (feeding, grooming and exercising) will help add structure to my life and give me more responsibility and confidence. I'm kind of a lonely person these days, and I'd really like to have a friend who won't go away.

No offense, Rain. (You whore.)

Some people have babies to fill this role. I am not that stupid. Babies are like tiny rubber air raid sirens that shit hot lava twenty times a day and die if you set them on fire for even a minute. Why bother?

3. Protection. In this neighborhood, a good deep barking fit when someone's sneaking around the back door would really come in handy for the whole household. Sufficient training can help ensure that the only barking fits we hear is related to an actual emergency.

4. Boredom. The cats aren't very rewarding when I seek them out for attention. They're cats. Dogs, however, are a laff riot any time of day. There's a reason they're referred to as "Nature's President Bushes."

5. With enough time and patience, I can teach a dog to do some highly amusing tricks. Oh, I've got ideas. See also: #4.

6. I like dogs, and I miss having one. I miss having any pets, but since this household is not ferret-friendly (too many things it could choke on, be crushed/poisoned/torn to pieces by, etc) a dog is the next best thing.

I don't think I've got room in my heart for another cat; Stokes and Mai-Mai are like having five normal cats as it is. Stokes alone makes three, due to sheer physical immensity. I'm not being melodramatic; that fucking cat has a moon, he's so big.

(Hi, Stupidcat!)

7. Speaking of which, we need something for the cats to humiliate and torment now that Stupidcat has stopped fear-peeing at the first sign of danger. Though I shall miss those halcyon urine-stinking days spent perched on a footstool trying to coax him out of the attic ceiling. Not.

8. Emergency food supply.

Now, the real question is--where to get the animal from? Some rescues charge a lot and insist on home visitation to make sure you have a big yard with a fence. This will be a mostly-indoor dog that goes on walks in an area where there are parks every ten feet, so the small yard we have isn't really that much of a problem.

The humane society has a rather limited selection. It seems like the only unwanted pets they have half the time are lab mixes, and I just don't really LIKE labs that much. Also, they're chewy. But they do have animals that need the most companionship, and the often high cost is a donation toward a really good cause.

I'm very leery about pet shops, but I'm not sure where else to look outside snobby breeders for a small puppy. I didn't like the looks of the puppies they had at the Roseville place (eye snot, wallowing in their own shit, slightly limp animals. It was kind of depressing despite the unspeakable cuteness of the puppies).

I suppose if I found a pet store that carried healthy Australian Shepherds I MIGHT be tempted to go against my vow to have nothing to do with those places... but only for an Aussie.

I could also check the want ads and see who has an unwanted litter, but frankly I'm not so thrilled about the idea. I don't like meeting people, and who knows what would be wrong with the dog.

The other possibility is to wait until a dog comes to me. This has happened in the past, but the downside is that it might take years, and that I won't get to choose the dog.

I would rather get a puppy because you can train them from an early age and thus never develop the worst of the dog habits that turn people away from owning dogs in the first place--barking, shitting, pissing, chewing your shoes, and eating the neighbor boy's face.

Getting an adult or a senior dog is also not out of the question, but I'd want to be DAMN sure I liked the animal to start with, in case I might not be able to change its more pernicious bad habits later. That can happen, especially with traumatized animals.

I wouldn't mind damaged goods (medical condition or abuse trauma), as long as it isn't something beyond my ability as a lapsed pet owner to handle in a starter dog.

So, the search continues. I plan to use this summer to train and bond with Hypothetical, which means I'd best get cracking.

11 comments:

  1. I used to volunteer at a rescue group a while ago, so bear with me while I go off on a somewhat informative tangent. =)

    Your reasons are quite sound, although the cats may not take well to a large furry thing that likes sniffing at them. Don't be afraid of a home inspection (these should be free) or the price of adopting a dog (it's bound to be over a hundred dollars no matter where you go) if you're willing to take care of it.

    I think a non-profit rescue group with a no-kill policy would be your best choice. In chains like Petco and Petsmart, you'll find rescue groups harking their dogs in the store on the weekends, and there are probably large adoption events in your area. Those sorts of things are usually reported in the newspaper or on the radio. Try going to a Petco on Saturday or Sunday and walking around. You'll find the groups either outside or inside, or, failing that, you'll find them by following the barking noises.

    Puppies require special care (and consequently you have to fill out more forms for them and pay more), from diets and training to lots of shots and spaying/neutering. They also need someone there to watch them 24/7 and require a great deal of patience and energy to train and care for.

    Here's a group with a pretty big selection by breed: http://www.homewardboundrescue.com/

    When they say 'no-kill', it means that the dogs will not be euthanized after a certain time period (nor will they be euthanized should you end up returning the dog for whatever reason). They can do this because they're a foster group, meaning the dogs live at a volunteer foster's house until they can be adopted. The adoption fee you pay for a dog goes towards food and vet bills and whatever other costs the dog incurs.

    And...that's all I have to say for now.

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  2. Have you considered using Craig's list? I know they have listings for dogs.

    As for age wise, I would suggest a dog around a year old, by that age you'll have a pretty good idea of their personality and they're done teething and should be potty trained (hopefully).

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  3. My mother raises shetland sheepdogs and we have a couple adults and two puppies that need a good home. Unfortunately, we don't live very close (all the way over in New York) but we can give some advice on any of the herding breeds. Like that you probably do not want an Australian Shepard because they really do need a big yard.

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  4. I would avoid terriers too, unless you really ENJOY having a battle of wills with a dog. They're bred to be stubborn, and thus are very hard to train, in my experience.

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  5. Rescue squads, IME, do tend to cost more on the adoption fees. You're paying for the associated costs of all the animals currently in foster homes. No-kill shelters are a little less, but still have costs to cover, since they're keeping the animal longer than a four or ten day window. Pounds tend to be the cheapest, and you never know, you just might find the Right Dog there, too. Worth a visit.

    I got my first dog from the pound: 13 weeks, 13lbs, and 90% of that weight was her tummy, full of worms. Adoption cost was minimal (comparatively), though I had to come back in six months with proof of spay. (There are organizations that will help with cost-of-spay, and some vets will do discounts.) Eh, I should mention the "probably a beagle" adoptee went from 13lbs to 60lbs by the time she was six months (and she wasn't done yet!). Turns out she's a type of informal regional hunting breed, a foxhound mixed with Great Dane every two or three generations. At least it calms down the neurotic & not-so-bright pack mind you usually get with foxhounds.

    That's one flaw with adopting from the pound or non-fostering rescue league. You've no idea what the dog will really turn out to be. And I write that as I'm about to go refill my drink and must step over a now-15 yrs old dog who eventually grew to 100lbs. (Cripes, if Costco didn't have 50lb bags of dog food for $15, I'd be sunk.)

    Our current second dog is 3yrs, and a rescue league dog. Unlike the old cow, the Flake came from the city's no-kill shelter; she was there for four months. She was utterly flat affect when we got her (at 2yrs old), though she eventually livened up into a cheerful, if somewhat one-person-attached, scared-of-leather-jackets, toy-hoarding ditz. (The longer the kennel stay, the more like the dog will hoard afterwards.)

    Some pounds will let you "check out" a dog; I did that with my first, taking her out for an hour's walk before deciding to adopt. The league where I got the Flake wouldn't let me walk her, but I did get two visits in a playroom -- and it still told me next to nothing about what she'd be like once home -- except that she craved affection and attention, and responded well to both.

    If you're at home mostly, then a puppy really isn't an issue. You're there; you're not talking about leaving the dog for eight hours at a time. In fact, I'd even recommend taking the dog with you everywhere you go -- it's socializing the dog, but it's also part of a dog's instinct. Where the pack leader goes, the dog goes; its job is to protect you, and it will.

    Although I must add that each dog defines "protect" with its own style. If you want lots of noise, get a smaller dog. If you want just the occasional large-chested WOOF but with major intimidation factor, get a bigger dog. Plus, a bigger dog is calmer, comparatively; it's got less to prove.

    Even at 15, all my dog has to do is stand up (even if that's more of an effort these days) and people are immediately respectful. She's growled perhaps three times in her life, but didn't need to do more -- the person was invariably already backpedaling. (In fact, the most sign she'll ever give about her 'take' on a person is to wag her tail, or disregard the person altogether -- if the second, then I know to avoid the person as well.)

    I don't kennel, so no words from me on that, except that I'm more for "take the dog with you, and leave the windows rolled down four or five inches". The dog will enjoy the time outside the house (and spent with you Seeing The Pack's Domain), and you'll enjoy knowing you've got the best four-legged car alarm a rawhide chewy can buy.

    Eh, and I'm still waiting on an answer from the "Today Happened" thread...

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  6. Two of my dogs are from a local rescue center - I can't recommend these places enough. Most of the dogs at rescue centers are at least a year old, but there are puppies to be had. At a year old, most of them will be house-trained and their personalities defined, and they will certainly have all their shots. And, like you said, good cause, yeah?
    As for the cats... I've never had a cat, so I don't know what to tell you concerning that, but my old Gordon setter adjusted well to the rat and then to the ferret and then to the yappy little terrier. Then again, Nora was just a dear. Said yappy terrier learned to love the two newcomer shelter-dogs too, but you'll definitely want to keep an eye on them until they get used to each other. The terrier and the ferret never did learn to like each other...
    You can check your local vet's office - they usually have ads about dogs up for adoption and information about local shelters.
    My shelter dogs are two of the sweetest animals I've ever encountered, so I've been converted for life.
    Do keep us updated!

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  7. Not sure why you don't want a Lab mix, I have one and he's great. He's 50 lbs,a good size. Small enough to still be cuddly but big enough to be imposing for strangers at the door. As far a being mouthy or chewy, it's all in the training you give. Just about any "bad" trait in a breed can be trained away if you get a puppy. Ours has never chewed anything that wasn't his own toy since we scolded him a couple of times when he was tiny.

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  8. Mostly it's just bad luck in the past with owning some problem dogs that couldn't be trained out of chewing, and a general pesonality clash.

    There was once a gigantic black lab that I was in love with, but I didn't get to keep him.

    The broken heart probably sealed the deal, heh.

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  9. Staffordshires are kind of hard to find, but they are awesome. A friend of mine was driving and a puppy came out of nowhere and followed his car. No mother or owner was present, so he took it in.

    This dog is fairly typical of the breed from what I've read. He looks like a hulking black pit bull, but with some different proporitons. He's the perfect wrestling dog and has never bit anyone (even with two kids, four and seven in the house), however he did have problems with other dogs (and so the breed might have problems with cats--I'm not sure).

    As for scary dogmeat factor, this guy is pretty up there. He's only a little above knee high on me (Though I am over six feet), but I saw him pick up a basketball in his jaws and pop it. He barks if people or dogs get near the house, but he doesn't bark at old ladies two towns over.

    He also loves watching Wildboyz.

    I have no clue if the breed is cat-friendly, but if Nintendogs isn't doing it for you, one of these guys might.

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  10. There's a good animal shelter next to Pandora's Box Veterinary Clinic in Brooklyn Center. Both the clinic & the shelter are good places & unlike most other vets Pandora's won't try & sell you stuff you don't need just to jack-up the price. Plus the vet that is there will be very blunt about what is going on & won't pussyfoot around.

    Pandora's Box Veterinary Clinic:
    763-533-5545
    4902 France Ave N
    Brooklyn Center, MN
    55429, US

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  11. my only advice in this is to name the dog Hypothetical

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