Beat Kingdom Hearts at last.
It only took me a year: 7 days to play the game and the other 358 to hack my way through all 9,000 permutations of the end boss. Golly but that was a lot of pee breaks!
But now it's over and I can say I made it through the game and at least now I have some idea as to why everyone's always like OMG SLASHETY SLASH since it first came out. That game was so homoerotic it should have been titled GAY TWINK HOMOSEXUALS IN THE KINGDOM OF FAGGY FAGGY GAYBUTTS.
I did notice that they threw in a few Tinker Bell panty-shots (and let's not even mention Kairi The Hydrocephalic Fish-Wife) for a bit of camouflage, but I was not fooled. No, not fooled at all. Who was Sora reaching for in longing and desperation while Utada Hikaru wailed about "the way that you make me feel tonight?"
...Yeah, EXACTLY.
That aside, I did enjoy the game even though I got lost every five seconds because I do not cope well with 3-D game environments. Walkthroughs are my bitch.
November 21, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
They didn't title it that because they knew that the second one was going to be even more so. Seriously. The first game barely pings the gaydar by comparison.
ReplyDeleteAnon is right - the second one makes the first one look SO FULL OF TESTOSTERONE. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI concur on that one, even Soras nobody had the hots for scrawny androgynous men, and thats not even the tippity tip of the iceburg ...
ReplyDeleteThis strip says it all when it comes to Kingdom Hearts:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=209
Funny strip, but I can't help but suspect it's also a big honking spoiler for the next game. :\
ReplyDeleteAh shite, I'm sorry. Wasn't thinking when I posted that =(
ReplyDeleteHeh, don't sweat it. It's probably not that big a spoiler anyway on reflection, considering this is a Squaresoft game and no one is ever separated forever in those :)
ReplyDeleteye gods, noooo!
ReplyDeleteAfter I beat that game, I saw tiny dancing green nodules EVERYWHERE! I would pass an intersection, and the light would jump down and begin dancing on my CAR HOOD!
And just when I thought I was getting over it.....
those goddamn Diet Pepsi commercials with the crazy floating sparkle bubbles got it all ramped up again.
I cannot play that game or its successor, for fear of triggering more hallucinations......
I did love it sweetly though