June 19, 2008

Apt Lyrics Are Apt

As usual, I have been thinking a lot about my drama-whore family. It's interesting how much my perspective has changed since I got out of that cesspool. As with my breakup, I agonized for ages that I was doing the wrong thing by running away instead of staying to try and bail out the sinking ship, but more and more I feel a sense of peace and freedom and well-being from having gotten away.

I'll save you the seventeen paragraphs of rumination on the matter, because frankly there's nothing new I can say right now about my evil siblings and cowardly absentee father. All that's changed is that I'm starting to realize that I'm not crazy. The things that happened really did happen, and just because nobody cared at the time doesn't mean the problem wasn't valid.

I fantasize about writing my family members letters that explain where I'm coming from, although I'm afraid of both possible outcomes--reconciliation and rejection. I'd almost prefer the latter, since I'm used to it.

And besides, what can you say to crazy people who don't really care about the damage they do? Not a whole lot. But it might make me feel better. At least I'm planning to get therapy--but then again, I was never the dangerous one.

To lighten the mood:

Someone Is Crazy, by Jonathan Coulton
(DOWNLOAD)

Is Bitter there?
I'd rather talk to her than Disappointed
Though she's not quite as fun as Good and Mad
You better put her on
She can change the game
She can make me say I'm sorry

You throw your hands up in the air and swear you didn't know
You think the world revolves around you but it doesn't so you sit and spin
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you

You set the trap
You lie and wait till someone trips the wire
Then you jump out to get your feelings hurt
And you act surprised
How did that get there?
Why does everybody hate me?

We're all familiar with the tragedy of being you
It's hard to show you any sympathy when all you do is beg for pain
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you

You're all alone
Well maybe that's because you're so unpleasant
You might consider dialing back a bit
Put those claws away
Stop the waterworks
Spend a couple evenings sober

The world's against you, so you think or maybe wish it was
At least that way someone would care but baby, no one does, not even you
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you


There are times when I want to make a mixtape of songs like this and mail it to the homes of people who just plain aren't getting the point through face-to-face confrontation. I can't be the only one, can I?

2 comments:

  1. I once wrote my (incarcerated) father 3 pages of handwritten song lyrics for that exact reason. =d Music is good.

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