Snape Fans and Car Crashes

After I got back from Cedar Rapids, I was too stupid for real art so I drew this shitty comic instead. It's a true story.

In other news, as I was driving up I-35, the weather got kind of gross. Mostly a little freezing rain, a few snowflakes, that sort of thing. But the EXACT second I drove past the sign that says WELCOME TO MINNESOTA, all hell broke loose. It was a blizzard and the road was so covered over with blowing snow that I couldn't tell where the road edges were (thank god for the rumble strips).

I slowed down accordingly and did just fine all the way up until I got off the interstate, at which point I promptly lost control of Seebs' car and crashed it into a ditch not even two fucking miles from our house.

The interstate had been bad enough, but the road off Exit 69 hadn't been plowed yet and traffic wasn't heavy enough to flatten it down evenly. The car skidded in the other vehicles' wheel ruts, which proved fatal when going around a curve. The wheels shuddered around a little and suddenly I was sliding all the way across the road into the other lane's ditch.

I fetched up in a snowbank that came almost to my hips when I got out of the car, and snow sprayed the windshield from the impact. The brakes did absolutely nothing but I wasn't going fast enough to do any damage. The road was pretty clear of other vehicles, too, so I consider myself lucky as hell. I couldn't find my cel phone so I just grabbed my coat, gloves, ID, inhaler and decided to hike the rest of the way.

I got picked up not ten feet down the road. This was very fortunate, because there weren't any sidewalks and the road itself was, as I've mentioned, very tricksy to navigate.

The guy who gave me the lift was pretty cool and told me about other snow emergencies he's rescued people from in the past. It's kind of like a hobby here in Northfield, from what I can gather. He'd been on peacekeeping missions to Brazil and all sorts of interesting shit.

Anyway, I got home and Seebs took the big car and we went to Target for snow boots (neither of us had a pair) and then to the car to try to dig it out a bit and wait for AAA.

The guy showed up to tow us out a bit later than expected due to the 89 other cars I'd seen off the road by then, and once it was free, I got back in and drove the rest of the way home with extreme caution. Even going under twenty miles an hour, I still slid around like butter on a hot knife whenever there were wheel ruts.

I think I'll wait til they plow it before I go out again.

So, home safe and sound. Dog very happy to see me. I'm told he was very mellow while I was gone, and Rah let him sleep on her to avoid the night-time whinging that had me worrying about everyone's sanity.

Pics of ditch-infested car soon. Woo! My first accident!

A Litany of Woe and Lame

Alex the Parrot Died.

Man, that SUCKS. He was awesome.

Yesterday was a fount of hilarity and strange. I was still up at 8 AM, so Jesse and I took Captain Obvious to the park and did some basic training (getting him to come when Jesse called, getting him to follow commands when distracted by small children, that sort of thing).

It was ungodly cold out, so we came home to put him in the bathroom and get some breakfast. He saw Mai-Mai (who never comes downstairs and is therefore still new to him) and bolted after her when I wasn't ready for it, jerking my arm hard all the way up to the shoulder. It was like getting struck by lightning.

The whole rest of the day that arm felt weird, and today my fingers are tingling a little bit. So we locked him up and drove off to the dread Perkins. We got all the way to the Rice Library when Jesse pushed the clutch in and it went "CLONK."

I got out and pushed the station wagon the rest of the way to the intersection, then up the street to the library entrance. By the time we got to the top of the little hill, my calf muscles had knotted and cramped up. I was shoving the car with all my might to keep it from rolling back down and bowling me over.

I ended up gasping for breath by the end of it, but we got the car parked safely. We hiked the rest of the way to Perkins, had some food and warmed up, then Jesse called Seebs at work for further instructions. Meanwhile, I was suffering from an asthma attack because I hadn't brought my inhaler and had been breathing very cold air through the mouth while I pushed the car. I'm still spitting up crap a day later!

We hiked back to the library to wait for the tow truck, and I got another sunburn all over my face. It was so bright outside I also got eyestrain from squinting. Then Jesse left with the tow truck to meet Seebs at the repair shop, and I gave myself a carpal-tunnel flare-up on the right side by leaning on that hand while I sorted through the library's parking lot gravel, collecting fossils and neat little crystals and stuff.

Seebs showed up at about 2 pm and brought me home. The repair cost for the clutch was lower than we feared, which is good. This is the same car whose clutch went out on us at Animazement 2004, which was a much costlier and more severe repair job.

Then I started packing up some books in the living room and gave myself an allergic spaz attack that left me wheezing with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose.

Conclusion: Look up 'epic fail' in any dictionary and you'll see a picture of me being shot in the face with lasers. I'm just THAT unlucky.

On the excellently bright side: We close on the new house tomorrow and begin moving in earnest right after that. Once we're settled in, I'll get to work on these Kagerou pages I've been pencilling even though I'm supposed to officially be taking a break.

I can't even slack off properly :)