June 6, 2007

Sucks To Be You Story #44

Check this out.

Thanks to a now-closed loophole in Georgia child molestation laws, this poor bastard is serving a 10 year jail sentence because a 15-year-old girl gave him a blowjob at a wild party when he was 17. After Genarlow Wilson gets out of jail, he'll have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

The best part is that if he'd just fucked the girl instead, there would have been no child molestation taking place in the eyes of the law. After all, they were both children at the time, and there's a "Romeo and Juliet" law intended to shield minors from pretty much exactly the penalties Wilson is facing now. It just didn't cover blowjobs at the time.

And so, let this be a warning to you wild youngsters out there. When you're at a party full of hot teenaged nymphomaniacs and there's a video camera rolling, always, always, always stick it in the pink.


  1. I'm notoriously bad at interpreting other peoples' intentions, but I find your callousness downright distressing in this case. I find the idea of unbounded punishment of any kind sickening, especially since they were both minors, only 2 years apart. I'm not endorsing anything they did, but this story hits close enough to home to put me ill at ease.

  2. I had to check and make sure we were talking about the same post here.

    The entry was written in a tone of heavy sardonicism, which would probably not go over well if interpreted literally.

    Text-based niceties aside, I suspect that we are actually in agreement about the issue itself.

  3. Ah yes. God bless AS! Hindering interpretation of social cues since 1994.

    A careful read through reveals that I was just being thick.

  4. Hee, no problem at all. I would have been pretty upset if somebody posted an entry making fun of this guy's plight on MY friend list.

    Let's hear it for AS!