POST MOAR FUCKING CATS

There is something scandalicious and disturbing about those moments when the straight media turns its focus briefly away from the missing white coed of the week, and focuses instead on the shady and untamed territory of Internet culture. Sorry, 'technoculture.'

(Quick note: Am I paranoid for thinking that the same dickcheese hip cat who coined the term 'electronica' probably came up with that one? And that he probably still refers to 'cybersex' as something that takes place on the 'information superhighway?')

I will never forget the day after that CSI episode aired, when several wide-eyed, menopausal coworkers began conversing in the break room about this new group who call themselves "Furries" and have sex in animal costumes because they want to be stuffed toys.

It was the most surreal conversation I had ever had at the library, and that's taking into account the time the children's librarian dressed up as an M&M for Halloween and the library director said he would like her to melt in his mouth.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the "Lolcats."

I hear next week they'll be doing an article on this fad called "Goatse-ing." See, there's this photograph of a man holding his anus stretched very wide with both hands, and America's s kids have begun showing it to each other in chat rooms for shock value. Be still, my screeching 14.4!

On second thought, I'll sit this one out. Wake me up when Time discovers LemonParty.