July 21, 2007

Spit Roasted Hoond

I was walking the uberhoond earlier when I started to get really sick and loopy-headed. Thought about it and realized I hadn't eaten since like 3 pm yesterday, when I had the better part of a strawberry waffle. Right before the adoption, basically. Fucker's running me ragged over here.

He hasn't gotten used to the noises people make coming in yet, so when they all got in from the Potter release party (which I slept through) he started fear-peeing, growling, and barking at them. He has a quiet, low-pitched bark. Oh, and the pee was all over the floor. I stepped right in a hidden puddle on my way to the bathroom after proving to him that the dastardly intruders were actually just a couple of late-night book nerds.

He also isn't used to the noises people make when moving around upstairs, so he growls at that, too. No fear-pee for this, but that's probably just because Seebs hasn't been playing DDR lately. Oh, I look forward to how THAT goes.

I am a little concerned that in the entire time I've known him (1 very long walk, 1 medium walk, and 3 short jaunts into the yard) he hasn't answered a call of nature yet. Either he's intimidated by the other dogs in the area, or he's got nothing to spare after the submissive peeing thing.

I'd really like to get the pooing business established as an outdoors-only venue as quickly and cleanly as possible. I'm glad we stocked up on paper towels this month and that the floors can be washed down without too much trouble, but srsly folks.

One thing he does that is driving me insane: he picks up my things and carries them around in his mouth. So far he's liberated five socks from my hamper and carried them to his spot on the floor to caress. He is a high-energy fleabeast and needs interesting and dog-appropriate toys as soon as possible. I've been taking the pilfered undies away and telling him no, which seems to be making an impression, but he is easily bored and in dire need of attention.

And one potentially awful thing--he chewed through his first power cord earlier, before I could catch him at it. The cable wasn't plugged in, but if it had been, he would be one dead luau-pig. I have to go over and bitter-apple spray every power cable he can reach tomorrow.

Oh, but he's a cutie. He follows me from room to room like a baby duck and curls up on the floor next to the couch where I'm sleeping. He needs to be trained to sleep in a crate, though. Such a fearful little fellow would really enjoy being confined and secure at night in a place that's just for him, and it'd make my habit of going on night drives to the gym a lot less troublesome.

Obedience classes are definitely high on my agenda. The sooner he stops being a pain in my ass, the sooner I can stop fantasizing about spit-roasting him Hawaiian style. (Oh god, now I'm hungry for ribs.)

My patience is probably better than a person with a day job and a tight schedule and a busy social life, but there's just so many times I can take seeing him walk around in great pride, with a pair of my undies wedged in his jaws. I don't even like it when girls look at my underwear, and here this guy's practically reached third base with them!

Just now, he's settled down after the long walk and appears to be asleep. If I talk nice to him he rolls over on his back, kicks one leg spastically, and tries to make carpet-angels. Looks like I've finally got time to get back to work on the comic. Tomorrow, if I can get my work done, I might just take him out to Como Park.

I'm thinking of calling him Captain Ruckus. Or maybe Captain Fabulous. Captain SOMETHING, at least.


  1. This is completely off-topic, but is Howel still alive? I really miss Nine Swords. :(

  2. Captain Ickarus ...Icarus...however you spell it has a nice ring to it ^-^ He's got the sweetest markings! And be careful, I've come to find the hard way that some odd ball dogs are actually quite partial to the bitter apple taste, say when one young air dale finds said apple spray bottle and gnaws it till explosions all over the carpet, then proceeds to clean it up for me...X3 maybe Captain Ichabod .... I've got this thing for I names today

  3. I'd try a Kong toy with him x) Incredibly resistant to chewing and destruction, they are! My family dog (who looks like your's older relative) loves the things and couldn't live without 'em.