I'm in kind of a morbid mood.
Today I packed up my Mom and all the little trinkets on the shelf--the lock of hair I sheared off after the funeral, the crystals she gave me, the little fossil one of Seebs' forum friends sent with their best wishes when she was sick, that sort of thing. This was the hardest part of moving for me, and I was seriously dreading it. Finally I decided this was stupid, and I should pack the hardest stuff first and ignore my conscience's wailing that I should have saved it for last out of respect for the dead.
I don't like to spend too long looking at the box because it still freaks me out to think that there's nothing left of the woman who created me except a box of gray dust that can be packed in a box and put out of sight like some meaningless souvenir. I also worry that when I pick up the box I might think something unworthy, but that's probably an OCD thing.
After I finished wrapping the little Buddhas and crystals, I folded her old monogrammed washcloth around the music box and packed it up along with the photographs and seeds and notes I found lying around her room after she died. So that's done with.
While I was doing all this, I found her box of Tarot cards and shuffled through them to see if she'd added any scraps of paper with sayings written on them (something she really loved doing in life, which made the mundane cleaning portion of dealing with her death a lot easier and harder on my spirit at the same time).
There weren't any notes that I could see, but the Five of Pentacles had been torn right down the middle. Rah said it was a negative card, so I looked it up and found out it signifies ill health, rejection and poverty--the three hardships that defined her life.
I didn't find the other half of the card anywhere in the box. I hope she fucking burned it.
On the bright side, now that I've dealt with Mom, it's out of the way and the rest of the packing should be bland and simple.
To combat my dust allergies, I've moved the air purifier into my room. The difference in air quality is substantial. Just to see what would happen, I sprayed some cinnamon air freshener near the machine. Ten seconds later, the scent was completely gone. I then realized that I haven't even smelled cigarette smoke from Jesse's level of the house since Seebs bought the machine. It's amazing what this thing can do--it even emits white noise, which I find comforting.
Ashes to ashes, allergens to allergens... Story of my life.
September 25, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
*random internet hugs* and kudos to you, it gives me the warm fuzzies to hear about other people discovering the aspect of gardening that I love so much, nothing is more wonderful than being able to live off something you grew with your own two hands and a lot of nurturing <3
ReplyDeletequick, because it's late & I'm tired:
ReplyDeleteThe numbness in fingers/wrist (especially when you wake up) is a sign of carpal tunnel -- I've learned that one the hard way. Not necessarily only from repetitive motion, but can also come from basically overusing the hands/wrists/fingers in a grip-motion, and you stress the tendons, they get little tears and expand/get swollen, that presses down on the veins, cuts off blood circulation, and tada, you have numbness.
I speak as someone who idiotically managed to not only get it in my wrists and fingers but my elbows up to my shoulders. Because, y'know, if it hurts a little and you keep doing what you're doing, you can just, erm, work through the pain... right? (This is where you can tell being a jock really did do damage to my brain cells, or at least my sense of pain receptors whatevers.)
Anyway, point is: put ice on your wrists/hands, wrap them not tightly but in some way that can reinforce your wrists -- if you don't have the metal-banded wrist things, I just used thick wool socks myself, which had a nice compression but not so much it was pressing down. It was just enough to remind me about being careful.
And, too, it helped to sleep with ace bandages thick (but not tight) around my hands up around wrist to almost my elbow. I tend to curl my hands in when sleeping, which means wrist is at 90' or close to it -- and the compression naturally is anything but helpful with blood vessels already compressed by tired/swollen/torn muscles. So the ace bandage helped keep my wrists flatter/straighter while sleeping.
But it's not something to mess with, either. Bite it now before it gets worse, because you do work with your hands for a living and you need them. I had the slight numbness and just kept going, and within two weeks or so, I had hands mostly numb nearly all day long.
(And then I got threatened within an inch of my life to go see a doctor now, blah blah blah. Which is the amusing postscript, because the doctor asked how it happened. I said, I built a lumber rack and moved about 200 lbs of wood onto the rack, then a cabinet for my power tools, then another cabinet for various poisons and chemicals I use in wood finishing, and along the wall tore out my kitchen/garage wall and started insulating and drywalling for a new pantry... and the doctor said, "where was your spouse during all this?" I said, "being a smart man and staying the fuck out of my workshop.")
Anyway, you and a bag of ice have a cool date tonight, so get on with it.
-- the person who hasn't forgotten about akon, but needs to get a new work contract before settling up manga accounts.
Being as I still seem to have this raging hard on for massage therapy I'm still stickin to my guns and saying massage the ever living daylights out of the tendons in your forearm. Compression is very good if you have trouble keeping your hands in proper position while sleeping/working, but don't forget, carpal tunnel isn't something you actually get, everyone has it, its the carpal tunnel syndrome that develops from your carpal bones wearing down and compressing the feeling out of your nerves and tendons, you lose feeling, you drop things, feel like your being electrocuted ect ect. compresses are great, but hot to cold make the best ones I've found so far, oh, and did I mention I get a similar hard on for hand/wrist/arm stretches? X3
ReplyDeletemirror's right that you shouldn't compress -- I didn't mean to give that impression. The point of a wrist brace of any sort is to keep you from bending your wrists/fingers/whatever too far and thereby compressing too much. You want any brace loose enough to flex but keeping you straight, and since I couldn't be bothered to get the real braces, I just wore the socks because they at least acted as *reminders* to take it easy.
ReplyDeleteAll I can recall is the doctor told me to use ice packs, as much as possible. I pretty much blew him off, given how I'm in a sweatshirt & pants the instant it falls below 78F. Me, with an ice pack? Not unless I get a heating blanket to go with that order...
- S