January 25, 2008
No art for like two weeks, then suddenly BLAM, I just HAVE to do two time-intensive pieces in 24 hours or I'll just plain bust. Go look for consistency in midwinter Lukas, I reckon.
The other night it got down to -20 fahrenheit, -26 if you count wind chill (and you really should, because HOLY FUCK LIPS ARE SUPPOSED TO MOVE!).
On the night of my Mom's death anniversary, my roomies took me out for dinner. It was really cool of them to drag me out of my head for a while. Came back home, got kinda weepy, watched some YouTube videos, got the giggles. Around 5 AM I drank two wine coolers back to back and within 20 minutes I was too dizzy to sit up anymore. Sadly I had to pee every three minutes for the next several hours as a result of said wine coolers, which interfered with sleeping a bit. Woke up 11 hours later still very drowsy. Spent the entire day half-asleep, watching Azumanga Daioh and then got into a flurry of arts that took out the rest of my night.
The strange thing is that, now that a full year has passed, I have lost that horrible feeling that Mom is somehow still alive and dying all over again. I think that was the worst part about waiting for the date to roll around--the feeling of it happening over again, even though I knew it wasn't really. Now my heart seems to know she's gone for good, and that gives me a little bit of peace.
Called my brother because he was worried about me and couldn't find my number. Tried to call my sister since, hey, it's the anniversary. But her cel number belongs to a guy with an accent now, or something, so that's out. Oh well. If she needs me she can just email or something.