"Operation Slickpubes" Operative Arrested

Once upon a time in the faraway land of Lulzia, a severely retarded member of Anonymous volunteered to have his body slathered with Vaseline in the name of Project Chanology. His partners in crime contributed wads of donated pubic hair and toenail clippings to the slippery brew. Once his preparations were complete, the intrepid space monkey frolicked through a Scientology building to share his wonderful blessings with the Org's many grateful employees.



Several days later, epic legalities ensued.

Anonymous Raid On Gold Base Turns Violent

This was my first protest at Gold and it seemed to be a routine one (well, as routine as a protest with 100db creepy organ music going on in the background could possibly be).

We got there around noon and tried to take the Scilons by surprise. Myself and Xenubarb jumped out of the van and started filming the guard shack (there was nothing else going on that we could see). About 15 minutes later, they started up the organ music and had pulled the shades down in the guard shack.

We called the cops after we arrived as a courtesy and so did the Scilons. When they showed up, I was confronted by a cop who told me that it would make his job easy if I gave him my name (I was wearing a mask). I told him no, even though he asked me several times. It was this same cop that eventually arrested AnonOrange (which is kind of funny, since I basically told him in so many words that I knew he was working for the scilons. He tried, not very convincingly, to pretend to be upset by my insinuation).

Fast forward several hours (I’ll relate details of our successful enturbulating later) and we were getting ready to leave. The scilon security vehicle that had been going back and forth parking next to our vehicle was next to our van again. There was also another car parked on the side of the road (which turned out to be another scilon security vehicle, some cheap Toyata ecomony car), that AnonOrange spotted on side of the road. He said to me, “that car looks suspicious, I’m going to check it out.” Meanwhile, I was checking on the rest of our group, which was coming down the hill from Golden Era Productions, to make sure they had all our stuff.

When I glanced back the other way, I saw a bald security guard running across the dirt road where the scilon security vehicle was and heard loud yelling. Camera in hand, I ran over as fast as I could and saw three scilon security goons who had AnonOrange pinned down in the dirt. One of them had his knee planted on AnonOrange’s neck and was forcing his face down into the dirt. AnonOrange was pleading with them to let him up and let him breathe. I was faced with an extremely difficult dilemma; get involved and try and pull them off of AnonOrange, get in a fight and possibly get namefagged or keep the camera rolling and document this shit. God help me, I decided to go with the camera option, figuring maybe I could talk some sense into these wackos.

I’m working on editing the video and will have it up as quickly as I can.

In the meantime, I’ll summarize what you’re going to see.

I told the scilons that this video is going straight onto YouTube, so they’d better think about what they’re doing. The main one, Danny, who’d been surveilling our vehicle all day, told me that AnonOrange had trespassed onto their private property and they were making a citizen’s arrest. I told him that they did not have the authority to try and restrain AnonOrange in the manner that they were (they were trying to tie him up with plastic ties, wtf??). They said that he and I were on private property and that I should leave. I said I wasn’t going to leave without AnonOrange.

At one point, AnonOrange yelled out for us to get his camera. XenuBarb made a go of it and tried to get it. The scilons went after her and I got involved (I wasn’t going to stand by for that), pushing them away from her. They slammed her up against their Toyota, which you will see on the video.

I called out to I’mglib and RIF to call the cops, who took forever to show up. When they did, they arrested AnonOrange for trespassing and gave the scilons a pass (big surprise, given that the cop who showed up for this was in their pocket from the get-go).

More details (promise) to follow.

More videos will be posted soon, but this is pretty good already.

Hurray for assault and kidnapping! LRH tech delivers.

Oprah Meets Pedobear's >9000 Penises

Oh no. Oh, noooo. Oh, Oprah...

Anonymous, w/u mry me? Y/N plz circle 1.

<3 <3 <3,
Luka

As Ever, Anonymous Delivers

Don't miss this one, guys. It's awesome.

Anonymous has met with the Fresh Prince himself, in person, and told him all about Scientology's dark side. Linksauce and pamphlets were exchanged.

Protestfags are my fucking heroes.

Anonymous Strikes Again

Hello, this is Anonymous.

It has been discovered by Anonymous that several high level managers within the Church of Scientology are currently working in the United Kingdom without the appropriate work permits. They are effectively working and living in the country as illegal immigrants. This information has been passed to the UK Border Agency, who are now mounting an investigation.

This Information concerns the following individuals:

US Citizen Maia Dube. Commanding Officer of the Commodore's Messengers Organization UK

Canadian citizen Janet Laveau. Head of the Office of Special Affairs UK, Scientology's Intelligence division.

Bob Bledsoe of the United States. Commanding Officer of the Continental Liaison Office UK

John Danilovoch of the United States. Captain of the Advanced Org Saint Hill UK

Australian Colin Davie. Commanding Officer of the Flag Operations Liaison Office UK

Melanie Schwandt of the United States. Deputy Religious Technology Centre Representative UK

Lucky Story of the United States. Executive Director of London Org

Information obtained by Anonymous strongly suggests that a scheme to attempt to circumvent the work permit requirements of the United Kingdom is being used on a regular basis. The source of this information is documentation that was carelessly discarded by a law firm retained by the Church of Scientology in the UK. This information has now been passed to the proper authorities.

The method to this scheme is as follows: Scientology staff members acquire a visitor visa prior to entering the UK, then just before this is due to expire, they fly to an airport within France or another country within the European Union. From there they fly to Dublin or Cork in Ireland where they stay overnight, getting the visa stamped in Ireland enabling them to travel back to the United Kingdom under another visitor visa.

The Church of Scientology will undoubtedly attempt to attack Anonymous for revealing this information and attempt to discredit said information. This is to be expected. However, journalists and other interested parties should be able to independently corroborate it via other sources now that the technique used has actually been revealed. Anonymous is aware that this is a highly serious allegation, however, the Border Agency of the United Kingdom is taking this matter very seriously. Anonymous suggests that any journalists who wish to follow up on this story contact the Border Agency for further comments and an official response.

Anonymous also expects these members of staff to be reassigned as soon as the cult hears of this investigation. This may already have happened and if the Church of Scientology attempts to suggest that these people have already left the UK and never worked in the country, then this will be why. However, a paper trail and evidence of their actions will still exist and Anonymous is confident that the UK Border Agency will be thorough in their investigation.

It is not Anonymous that is guilty of crimes, but rather the Church of Scientology that has neither respect for the law nor personal freedoms.Their attempts to circumvent immigration laws is further evidence of this, as are the growing number of assaults perpetrated by Scientologists worldwide against Anonymous Protesters. several of which have been filmed and documented. The release of this information and the full co-operation of Anonymous with the Border Agency of the United Kingdom should speak for itself; and is in direct contrast to the Church of Scientology's disregard for anything other than furthering its own agenda.

Regardless, Anonymous finds humor in the fact that the Church of Scientology's United Kingdom operation has been caught in this way. furthermore, Anonymous will be informing other Immigration officials across the globe of the current violations in the united kingdom being committed by the Church of Scientology. Anonymous promised new and invigorated tactics to be revealed on 08-08-08, and as always, Anonymous delivers.

We are AnonyMouS.
We are Legion.
We do not Forgive.
We do not Forget.
Expect Us.

Press Release in PDF Format
Digg this story

Anonymous In Maxim

Maxim is publishing a five-page article on the Anonymous versus Scientology movement. It's good stuff: 1 2 3 4 5

I can't wait til I can go back to a raid again. I do miss the lulz so.

Scientology forgoes torturing cats in favor of hassling the disabled

Crazy shit! Stu Wyatt, beloved SA goon and physically disabled Anon protester, has been arrested and charged with assault against a Scientologist woman. Said woman followed him around as he navigated his electric scooter, trying to stick her foot underneath with a cry of "Wolf! Wolf!" that struck mild confusion into the hearts of all who saw it. And then she called the cops and filed a complaint.

Oh, but guess what? STU GOT THE WHOLE THING ON TAPE!



You can skip to around 4:00 if you want to see the actual 'assault' in all its fingernail-pulling cringe humor glory, or watch the whole thing from start to finish to earn valuable prizes.

I don't know if I can stand up long enough to do Sea ARRRGH. My leg isn't really up to scratch, and if I got a wheelchair I'd feel like a faker. That arm still gets weak much more quickly than normal, so I'm still not even really up to the challenge of that hypothetical pimp cane I was musing over earlier today.

Six hours standing and walking around makes my feet hurt when I'm at my buffest. And as Wyatt's video suggests, a physically impaired person on his own in a strange city might be a tempting target for these dorks.

Hmm. Perhaps if I chop it off at the thigh, I can replace it with a peg leg and really get authentic with the whole pirate theme.

Here are some wise words o' warning for everyone else hoisting a jolly roger in preparation for Saturday's protests:

The R.A. warns Anonymous to guard against the escalating pattern of "Body Bullbaiting." This physical form of Bullbaiting consists of a pattern of elbows, shoulders, and feet of Scientologists hatted in physical instigation "accidentally" bumping into Anons while uttering slurs under their breath. OSA's goal is to have an aggressive Anon physically assault a Scientologist when the Scientologist "Accidentally" bumped into the Anon. OSA targets for Body Bullbaiting are Male Anons who are physically and vocally aggressive. Female Anons can also expect some elbows and shoulders from female Scientologists.

-From this thread on OCMB

The Killing Joke

So the Scientology cult had their annual bookathon the other day, and something very interesting happened.

They sold 2,257 Scientology handbooks. Previous tallies include 33,944 in 2007 and 49,000 in 2005, according to Enturbulation.org. Dozens and dozens of orgs this year sold zero books, in what might just be the most epic fail yet.

Could this drop in cult sales possibly be the doing of a certain group of shiftless internet tough guys hanging around the Orgs with funny masks and fact sheets for the past four months? It's impossible to say for sure, but the smart money is on "hell yeah."

You know, I keep running into interwebs naysayers who think this movement is all just a big joke that has done no harm whatsoever to Scientology. Well, they're half right--it IS a joke. But a 94% drop in church book sales in one year is one doozy of a punchline, don't you think?

In conclusion, the lulz do good things for society. And it's not the only time this has happened:

Stetson Kennedy, a reporter for the short-lived lefty newspaper PM, went undercover into the Klan, learning the secret passwords and countersigns used by the Grand Dragon "Doc" Green's vicious Klavern No. 1 of Atlanta. For sport, Kennedy passed on the info to writers of the Superman radio show about that comic-book character whom Wade calls "the ultimate antifacist."

-From here.

That incident is generally blamed/thanked for dragging the Klan out of the shadows of respectability and turning it into a freakshow. Membership plunged and, some say, never recovered.

Scientology is nowhere near as bad as the Klan, of course. Yet. Any society, no matter how marginal, whose end goals for our planet include the forced elimination of the physically and mentally disabled, not to mention the eradication of several races it just plain doesn't like, needs to be squished and squished hard, on sheer principle, and as quickly as possible so it doesn't spread.

If all it takes to do that is a nice hard belly-laugh at Miscavige's expense, that's a good thing and I'm grateful for it.

“MANY MONTHS AGO THIS MAY
A MESSAGE WAS GIVEN TO THIS PLACE.

“THE INTERNET HATE MACHINE
STRUCK THE BLOW
THAT BLEW THE BULL
OF LRH AWAY.

“BUT ORGS
WHO WOULD OPPRESS
HAVE LABORED HARD BEHIND
THEIR WALL OF FAIL UNSOUND.

“FOR IF ALL PRECLEARS
COULD GO FREE
WHO THEN COULD DAVID SMACK AROUND?

“YOU HAVE SOME LULZ TO FORWARD ON
THE WORK THAT WAS BEGUN
AND LIKE THE BANNER OF LONGCAT
DRAW OUT THE PATH WE WON.

“EACH RAID THAT FLOWS BEHIND US FINDS
LESS FORCE IN OSA
THAT MET US WHINING "OH PLEASE STOP,
OH KINDLY GO AWAY."

“OH YES, WE’LL WIN FOR MANKIND YET
AND RESTORE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH
WHY LET DAVE WIN?
WHEN HE CAN LOSE
HIS CAKE AND ALL HIS WEALTH?"

“IT’S UP TO YOU
TO SEE THE MIDGET
STUMBLE ALL THE WAY.

“DO ALL YOU CAN
MY FRIENDS TO SEE
THAT XENU WINS THE DAY.”

LOVE, MARK

Avast, Ye Scurvy Dogs! Join The Sea Arrrrgh on June 14!

Fucking A, man. I'm so there I'm barely here.

If you're interested in joining the Sea Arrrrgh, you can check the forums on enturbulation.org to locate protests in your area. Go for the lulz, stay for the neutering of Scientology.

Incidentally this is the best video Anonymous has released to date and whoever made it is a genius.

Anonymous and Scientology On Speaking Terms?

Breaking news! The Sea Org wants to discuss terms with Enturbulation.org founder.

During what seemed a run of the mill flier raid today with myself and 5 others in the Sydney CBD ended with a conversation from the local Sea Org who has extended the offer to me to come in and discuss our collective grievances, our concerns and hopefully, the changes we're all been pushing to have.

This is the first contact between our factions. The story is hot off the internets and still developing, so keep an eye on the thread for updates as it continues to unfold.

I'm not putting away my eyepatch and hook-hand just yet, obviously, because these people are ruthless and evil. But this is still HUGE news. If anyone is left who doubts their own power to make real changes in the world, I ask them to take note of the fact that four months of easy, fun protests and fact-spreading has been enough to scare the shit out of this evil cult, to the point where their pseudo-militia is asking for peaceful resolutions. Even Time magazine couldn't do that, and we're just a bunch of internet nerds in masks.

Scientology extending an olive branch to its critics? It's never been done before. Either they're up to something truly foul (which would itself be more fodder for our cause) or we're about to see the first positive change in the history of the cult.

Stay on target, yer scabrous bastards! She ain't done for yet and the fight's but half done!

Scientology Skewered on National TV

Oh my /b/rothers, last night was the most epic of all wins for Anonymous. We have ARRIVED.

Jenna Miscavige Hill, the disconnected niece of Scientology leader David Miscavige, was on Nightline last night, cutting into the lie that is the LRH Caek and serving the crumbs to America's nearly four million viewers.

This is huge. Media bigshots have been notoriously gunshy about Scientology ever since Time Magazine published their milestone "Scientology: Cult of Money and Greed" issue and got the bejesus sued out of them by the cult. Time eventually won, but it cost millions of dollars to fight off the horde. The CoS is nasty and uber-litigious and allocates much of its wealth to the care and feeding of their stable of trained attack lawyers, and if Time was feeling the heat, imagine what would happen to the Podunk City Sun-Sentinel.

A lot of mainstream reporters have been told to leave that particular stone unturned, which has helped the disease thrive in a general absence of educated criticism. Even Comedy Central and the creators of South Park got kicked around a bit for their "Trapped in the Closet" episode, and Isaac Hayes was forced to disconnect from everyone involved (which is why no more Chef.)

But now Jenna Miscavige is on Nightline talking about coerced abortions. Jenna is talking about disconnection. Jenna is talking about the protests on national TV.

Nightline's viewer demographic is about 25-54 years of age, and that's a group Anonymous has been having trouble reaching. We've got the youth culture already covered (South Park, the internet, and other assorted fun). What we need for real change is adults with connections, and this might be it.

Jenna (who is connected with the movement) said the interview was actually filmed weeks ago, but representatives of the Church of Scientology dragged their many-thetanned asses for ages on their rebuttal.

And oh what a rebuttal it was! "Come on now, peeps, everyone knows Jenna is a bad person! We don't want to talk about her crimes and make her feel bad, though, so OH LOOK! OXYGEN!" *flees*




See you on May 10, Scientology :) I hope you stocked up on BattleToads.

Once, Twice, Three Times Anon.

The first protest, we were met with general suspicion. The second protest, we were met with curiosity. Our third protest was met with the words "We remember you guys. Keep up the good work."

Today I watched a Muslim man with four children walk by three times over a space of a few hours. In that time, he went from disinterest to curiosity to actually flagging down another passer-by in an electric wheelchair to ask her "Did you know about this!?" I gave the woman a flyer and she rolled off with it, looking scandalized.

The man's children were maybe 8 years old at the oldest, and they were involved in peaceful assemby for freedom of speech. They won't forget this in their lifetimes. Our music, our dancing and our free hugs made strangers stop to smile at us, and then want to know more. It was good times.

What we're doing is having a clear and positive effect on the world around us. The culture is ready for our message and we're kicking some ass.

And now for the best news all day:

The Dusseldorf Scientology center has been abandoned!

(The protest outside the empty org went ahead as planned.)

In summary, cake=lie, anons >9000, and so on. Suck it, Hubbard.

Video soon.

Anonymous March 1 Protest: LA

EVENT:
CCHR 39th Annual Awards Dinner -- Anonymous Demonstration
We have already informed the police. No permits are necessary.

LOCATION:
Hyatt Century Plaza Hotel
2025 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, CA 90067

WHEN:
Saturday, March 1st 5:00pm Show-Up Time (Try not to be late, but lateness is understood)
We will stay until the dinner is over. There is some concern that they may prevent attendees from leaving until we depart; we intend to stay the night. BRING WARM CLOTHES (and/or blankets if you stay late) and be prepared for a long one! If you need to depart you are welcome to do so at any time, but we fully expect to stay until they let their attendees out.

IRC Meeting for Questions, etcetra:
irc.partyvan.org #socal
THURSDAY, February 28th, 8:00pm Pacific Time

WHY:
L. Ron Hubbard educated his followers on how to deal with your enemies. He instructed them that if you can't find something in a person's past, make something up. Psychiatrists are Scientology's self declared enemies. It makes you wonder how many people have had their licenses pulled due to fabricated malpractice claims.

Elli Perkins died March 13th, 2003 at the hands of her Schizophrenic son, Jeremy. Elli was stabbed 77 times after years of trying to help her son's mental health condition using Scientology. Scientologists are often opposed to any form of psychiatric care, stating that it 'does not work'. The doctor concluded that "he was suffering from certain digestive problems, that he had certain chemical toxins in his body. And he needed to be purged of it. And he needed to be energized through vitamin therapy." Elli Perkins gave Jeremy the vitamin treatment to no avail. Jeremy was set to leave in the afternoon of March 13th. On this day, following a fight with his mother, he took a shower during which he attempted to slit his own wrists. After exiting the shower he went to the kitchen where Elli was on the phone, took a steak knife, and brutally stabbed her to death.

If he had been granted access to psychiatric treatment, perhaps Elli would still be alive. If Lisa McPherson had been granted psychiatric help, rather than being locked in a room to "ride it out" perhaps she would still be alive.

SIGN SUGGESTIONS:
"CCHR is a Scientology Front Organization"
"Lisa McPherson Was Denied Psychiatric Help"
Any signs specifically targeting the Church of Scientology
CCHR Specific signs; more cases of those who died due to lack of Psychiatric help

Please, no "honk if you hate" signs. No "honk" signs in general; that is a police request.

Our audience will not be the general public. Our audience will be almost entirely CCHR/CoS patrons. Do not expect a friendly reception, or multitudes of supporters honking at us. This one is about impact.

Do plan on wearing your Guy Fawkes mask or other coverings. Bring alternative covering in case the masks become an issue. Once again, many of us will be wearing suits; we're also in a somewhat glitzy area so looking nice won't hurt (just BE WARM. Ladies, short dresses, as much as I love them, you'll freeze to death).

Much as I hate to have to say this: God damn, I wish I were in LA this week.

Anonymous Addresses David Miscavige

Hahahaha, this is the funniest one yet.

Anonymous Announces "Operation Reconnect"

SWEEEET. This is the best terrorism yet.